It was wonderful to get to spend the weekend with them.
We can't wait to meet Baby Wilton! What an awesome time had by all.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Last weekend
It was wonderful to get to spend the weekend with them.
We can't wait to meet Baby Wilton! What an awesome time had by all.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
A Special Day
Yesterday was your first birthday. It was such a special day that we had looked forward to for weeks now. You started the morning with a long snuggle in bed with dad and I (and your doting brother Jude.) In the morning we went to the gym and you played in the playroom. Then we came home and you had lunch and the kids had early release from school so everyone was home in early.
In the afternoon we headed out to the swimming pool and we went swimming. You love the water so we thought that swimming would be the best activity for your first birthday.
After we got home we had take out from our favorite Mexican food restaurant. You will eat ANYTHING. You even drink Mommy and Daddy's "green" juice with a smile on your face. Your such a good eater of all foods but still so tiny for your age- such a little pixie- just like your sister Grace was.
We had cupcakes instead of cake.
We sang you Happy Birthday and
you smiled and tried to grab the candle.
Then it was time to dig in.
You didn't want to get your fingers
dirty in the frosting so your sister
Angelina came over and stuck her
fingers in the frosting and was feeding
it to you. Then you decided you would
just stick your face down and eat it.
It was really funny.
You were super pleased that you
figured out how to get the frosting
without getting your hands dirty.
Of course you love being the center
of attention. That is a given in this family!
Once you finally gave in and
stuck your hand in the cupcake
you were so silly!
It was 10pm at this point.
You were so over tired...
and so silly.
Once we had you all cleaned up
Daddy helped you open your presents.
You played for a little bit
with your new toys before bed.
Everyone was exhausted after all
the swimming, eating and fun.
You ended your birthday right
back in the same place it started!
(Snuggling in bed!)
Izzy- you are SUCH a blessing
to our lives. We love you.
Happy Birthday Baby Girl.
Love,
momma
momma
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
One year
Last year, exactly one year ago from this exact moment... my entire life changed.
As I was going through a rough last few weeks of pregnancy my mentally ill daughters feelings and emotions were escalating. And the night before I was going in to have a c-section and deliver my baby, my ill teen daughter made allegations against my husband.
Last year, exactly one year ago from this exact moment... I was laying in my bed- awake and alone... and wondering if I was going to be OK. Wondering if I was going to make it through surgery, wondering if my baby was OK, wondering if my ill daughter was OK, worried about all my other children, I didn't know if my husband could be at my delivery, if he could ever come home, if our children would all be taken into foster care while I was in the hospital, if my life was ever going to be OK again, if my marriage would survive the allegations, if I would ever be mentally stable from all I was dealing with in that very moment... that moment that my world came crashing down around me.
Its scary how fast things can change.
When Sophie made the allegations one year ago today she did so in front of all of the children. All of the children who were over 10 at the time really understood what she was saying and they really got the issue at hand. They knew that she was lying, she had told them all the very same thing a few days prior which they had told her to stop "being gross" and saying "horrible things". Of course they didn't believe her but the didn't want to trouble me and their dad with the things that she said. Sophie had taught Joy to say the same sort of sick things and the older children all just tried to keep Sophie away from the younger children. But Joy was affected, she had heard too much already and had far too much time while I was in the hospital every other day for testing to be around Sophie. (Both of them were home schooled at the time.)
After Sophie made the allegations I instantly made everyone go into different rooms and I sat in the living room with Joy. I held Joy and let her know that it was going to be OK. Joy then knew that it was serious and she started crying. I knew that my husband would never have done anything to hurt anyone and I knew that Sophie had hurt Joy- that Joy was Sophie's latest victim. That Sophie was jealous of cute little Joy and jealous that Grace's biological sister had become such a tight knit part of our family. Sophie was feeling replaced and with the baby coming, Sophie was definitely scared about her place in the family. (Unrealistic to us all, but for her, she was very afraid of losing us all.)
The house was silent and Joy and I hugged each other and sat on the couch together. The baby in my belly was moving around so much and I felt numb. What do you do? What was I supposed to do? I just wanted to tell her to shut up and get out of the house and stop it. But I knew that my husband and I had to call the on call therapists for both of the girls, we had to get someone over right away.
Shortly later Sophie's therapist arrived. By this time my husband and I, my sister and the therapist were all sitting on my bed talking about what to do next... about what happened and what was said... what the allegations were etc. The allegations actually involved Sophies therapist. Sophie claimed that when her dad was "on the phone with her therapist he exposed himself to Joy and made Joy touch his private parts." The therapist was talking about how much background noise there was during there phone conversation a week or so prior. And how he was making lunch and serving the kids lunch and how she could hear all the little kids in the background. She kept going over the entire conversation with him and had taken notes during the conversation about what time they were on the phone with one another and how this was just impossible etc. At the time that the supposed incident happened I was sitting at the doctors office waiting to turn in a urine sample. I was gone from home for less than 20 minutes and during the time my husband was on the phone with the therapist. All of the younger children were home and in raising some odd 50+ children over the years we have never, ever had allegations against us. I don't know what else we could have done differently. I didn't know how we would ever recover. I didn't know how to help my other children feel safe and secure when they were so terrified they would go into foster care.
We continued to sit on my bed and I cried, sobbed, through nearly two boxes of tissues. My pregnancy hormones were out of whack and I was beside myself. I called my Mom and let her know that she needed to book a ticket here from Ohio right away for as soon as she could get here. It was already late in Ohio and I knew I was causing her a sleepless night and a great deal of pain and worry when everyone was already so worried about the baby being born, surgery the next morning etc.
Then the therapist and my sister promised us that they wouldn't let our kids be taken away. That they wouldn't let them be split up. My sister said she would take a leave from work and stay here until things were done. She knew that it might be months but she was committed to doing whatever it took. Then we called and reported the allegations to the child abuse hot line. They talked to me, the therapist and I remember it taking a long time to give them all the children's names and birth dates etc. I remember then calling the older children who were moved out already and getting them on stand by and ready to help. They all came by our side and supported us, stepping in as the responsible young adults to help care for their siblings.
My husband then had to leave. They didn't ask him to leave but because we knew that we were then going to be investigated it would be best for him to voluntarily leave and not be near any of the children. He went to my sisters house and my sister spent the night here with me. I tried to get my act together and finish packing my bag for the hospital. I didn't know if my husband would be able to be there or if he was going to be arrested? Or interviewed? Or what was going to happen or how it would be handled?
The next morning bright and early after a fitful hour of sleep or so my husband and Leishan were here to pick me up and to go to the hospital. When I checked in I didn't know for sure if I was having a c-section or if they were going to let me have Izzy naturally. She was measuring huge and with the gestational diabetes there was a chance for shoulder distocia. They offered me the chance to have a natural childbirth. The doctors came in and we talked. I was exhausted. There was no way I could make it. Not even if I knew she had been a tiny small baby at that point, I couldn't even deal. I was having massive anxiety about the surgery but I knew in my heart the anxiety was about everything else going on too. I was happy to take some silly pills before walking back to the surgery room. It did make some parts of the deliver a little foggy but at that point it was all I could do to cope.
Izzy was born. I was elated but not really fully allowed to enjoy her, or my husband, or our moment. It was stolen. It was over. It was gone.
A dear dear friend of mine who is a nurse met us at the hospital that morning and knew what was going on. She stayed in the surgery room and took lots of pictures and was able to help us through. All those days going in for non stress tests had been a wonderful way to get to know many of the nurses. They had enjoyed getting to know us through this mutual friend and through the visits there several times a week. That day while I was having Izzy the police were at my house talking to my sister doing a welfare check to make sure that Sophie and Joy were OK.
The day after I had Izzy the person hired to handle the investigation for the CPS department showed up at the hospital. She was a therapist. She knew about RAD. She was given certain cases at the time that were more complex with more complex kiddos and families. She was supposed to come to the hospital to interview us the day that we had Izzy- but she had refused. That is why the police came to do the well child check up. She didn't want to steal anymore of our moment than had already been stolen. We are forever grateful for that one day of privacy. Because after that... there was none.
With this CPS investigator we had to write a safety plan. My husband would stay with me at the hospital. If any of the children came to visit us a nurse had to be present in the room with us to supervise. I was also being investigated for "neglect"... because if I had known that my husband was abusing the kids and had done nothing, I was potentially guilty by association. So yes, they had to keep our children safe from both of us.
The safety plan was put into my medical file so that all the nurses and our family doctor and the other doctors we were dealing with were all aware of the situation. It was at that point that I knew I had to call my doctor in and just explain to him what had happened. He knew Sophie and the issues and he was mortified that we had been dealing with so much.
Then the police detective came to the hospital. Not only were we being investigated by child protective services but also by the police. Since potentially a sex crime had been committed they had to open up a criminal investigation as well. They let us know that they would be bringing Sophie and Joy in for questioning and that they would have both the police and CPS there. They also let us know that they would be going to the schools of the other child to talk to them.
Numb. Angry. But mostly just numb.
Hours went by and then we got a call. My sister. Sophie had stuck to her story and further embellished and Joy recanted and said that "Sophie had told her to say a lie about Dad." Basically what we had assumed happened, did happen. Sophie had made everything up and was trying to destroy the family. The police and CPS still needed to talk to the other kids and they did end up going to school to talk to all the older children.
When at the school talking to the older children they were asked several really bizarre questions like:
"Do you own bathrobes?"
"Do you wrestle when you wear your bathrobe?"
"Do your parents keep naked pictures of themselves around the house?"
Good Lord. The things that Sophie had told them. Naked bathrobe wrestling matches. Really?
I know its not funny. But we still laugh when we see people wearing bathrobes. Like at the hot springs... everyone wears a bathrobe all over the place. Or when Nana came to visit and wore a bathrobe- we thought for sure we were doomed!
Lauren and Matt came to the hospital to visit and brought Angelina and Jude. The nurse (who happened to be our neighbors sister in law) came in the room and sat with us. She was a true blessing and made us as comfortable as possible even though she was "watching" us. After that visit we didn't have anymore of the kids come to the hospital. We were shocked when one of the therapists called to ask if they could bring Sophie to the hospital to meet the baby. (Umm... NO.)
Before we knew it- It was Friday morning. The day that we were supposed to discharged. We had known that the day before we could have gone home but because the investigation was going on we didn't want to leave without a plan. At one point we thought that I could go home with the baby and be with the kids and my husband would be going to stay with my Aunt. But then we found out that I wouldn't be able to bring the baby to see him or any of the other kids without supervision from a third party agreed upon by CPS. We just weren't willing to give anymore of this time or energy to Sophie. She had wanted all the control over the special moment in our families life and she was given every ounce of it. Even though they all knew that it was NOT true, they still had to get signatures and interviews done and things had to go through the process (which can take MONTHS).
We waited things out. We had the bags packed and we were ready to leave the hospital. We waited many long hours. What we didn't know was that the police detective was running around getting everything done and CPS as well so that we could rip up that safety plan and leave the hospital together and go home. What a blessing to come out of such a nightmare of a time.
I don't blog about this because I want to humiliate Sophie or air our dirty laundry. I wanted to write about it and add more details because I don't ever want to forget how I felt on this day, one year ago. I don't ever want to forget how much she is capable of destroying. I love Sophie so much, we all do. We are working through her demons and we are hopeful. We know that these are just baby steps. But to totally forget the details and forget how I was feeling would be dangerous. So I write because I don't ever want to forget. If I didn't tell you that there was a day in the past year that I didn't hurt because of this- I would be lying.
I am sweetly broken, wholly surrendered. (Listen to the song, so lovely!)
As I was going through a rough last few weeks of pregnancy my mentally ill daughters feelings and emotions were escalating. And the night before I was going in to have a c-section and deliver my baby, my ill teen daughter made allegations against my husband.
Last year, exactly one year ago from this exact moment... I was laying in my bed- awake and alone... and wondering if I was going to be OK. Wondering if I was going to make it through surgery, wondering if my baby was OK, wondering if my ill daughter was OK, worried about all my other children, I didn't know if my husband could be at my delivery, if he could ever come home, if our children would all be taken into foster care while I was in the hospital, if my life was ever going to be OK again, if my marriage would survive the allegations, if I would ever be mentally stable from all I was dealing with in that very moment... that moment that my world came crashing down around me.
Its scary how fast things can change.
When Sophie made the allegations one year ago today she did so in front of all of the children. All of the children who were over 10 at the time really understood what she was saying and they really got the issue at hand. They knew that she was lying, she had told them all the very same thing a few days prior which they had told her to stop "being gross" and saying "horrible things". Of course they didn't believe her but the didn't want to trouble me and their dad with the things that she said. Sophie had taught Joy to say the same sort of sick things and the older children all just tried to keep Sophie away from the younger children. But Joy was affected, she had heard too much already and had far too much time while I was in the hospital every other day for testing to be around Sophie. (Both of them were home schooled at the time.)
After Sophie made the allegations I instantly made everyone go into different rooms and I sat in the living room with Joy. I held Joy and let her know that it was going to be OK. Joy then knew that it was serious and she started crying. I knew that my husband would never have done anything to hurt anyone and I knew that Sophie had hurt Joy- that Joy was Sophie's latest victim. That Sophie was jealous of cute little Joy and jealous that Grace's biological sister had become such a tight knit part of our family. Sophie was feeling replaced and with the baby coming, Sophie was definitely scared about her place in the family. (Unrealistic to us all, but for her, she was very afraid of losing us all.)
The house was silent and Joy and I hugged each other and sat on the couch together. The baby in my belly was moving around so much and I felt numb. What do you do? What was I supposed to do? I just wanted to tell her to shut up and get out of the house and stop it. But I knew that my husband and I had to call the on call therapists for both of the girls, we had to get someone over right away.
Shortly later Sophie's therapist arrived. By this time my husband and I, my sister and the therapist were all sitting on my bed talking about what to do next... about what happened and what was said... what the allegations were etc. The allegations actually involved Sophies therapist. Sophie claimed that when her dad was "on the phone with her therapist he exposed himself to Joy and made Joy touch his private parts." The therapist was talking about how much background noise there was during there phone conversation a week or so prior. And how he was making lunch and serving the kids lunch and how she could hear all the little kids in the background. She kept going over the entire conversation with him and had taken notes during the conversation about what time they were on the phone with one another and how this was just impossible etc. At the time that the supposed incident happened I was sitting at the doctors office waiting to turn in a urine sample. I was gone from home for less than 20 minutes and during the time my husband was on the phone with the therapist. All of the younger children were home and in raising some odd 50+ children over the years we have never, ever had allegations against us. I don't know what else we could have done differently. I didn't know how we would ever recover. I didn't know how to help my other children feel safe and secure when they were so terrified they would go into foster care.
We continued to sit on my bed and I cried, sobbed, through nearly two boxes of tissues. My pregnancy hormones were out of whack and I was beside myself. I called my Mom and let her know that she needed to book a ticket here from Ohio right away for as soon as she could get here. It was already late in Ohio and I knew I was causing her a sleepless night and a great deal of pain and worry when everyone was already so worried about the baby being born, surgery the next morning etc.
Then the therapist and my sister promised us that they wouldn't let our kids be taken away. That they wouldn't let them be split up. My sister said she would take a leave from work and stay here until things were done. She knew that it might be months but she was committed to doing whatever it took. Then we called and reported the allegations to the child abuse hot line. They talked to me, the therapist and I remember it taking a long time to give them all the children's names and birth dates etc. I remember then calling the older children who were moved out already and getting them on stand by and ready to help. They all came by our side and supported us, stepping in as the responsible young adults to help care for their siblings.
My husband then had to leave. They didn't ask him to leave but because we knew that we were then going to be investigated it would be best for him to voluntarily leave and not be near any of the children. He went to my sisters house and my sister spent the night here with me. I tried to get my act together and finish packing my bag for the hospital. I didn't know if my husband would be able to be there or if he was going to be arrested? Or interviewed? Or what was going to happen or how it would be handled?
The next morning bright and early after a fitful hour of sleep or so my husband and Leishan were here to pick me up and to go to the hospital. When I checked in I didn't know for sure if I was having a c-section or if they were going to let me have Izzy naturally. She was measuring huge and with the gestational diabetes there was a chance for shoulder distocia. They offered me the chance to have a natural childbirth. The doctors came in and we talked. I was exhausted. There was no way I could make it. Not even if I knew she had been a tiny small baby at that point, I couldn't even deal. I was having massive anxiety about the surgery but I knew in my heart the anxiety was about everything else going on too. I was happy to take some silly pills before walking back to the surgery room. It did make some parts of the deliver a little foggy but at that point it was all I could do to cope.
Izzy was born. I was elated but not really fully allowed to enjoy her, or my husband, or our moment. It was stolen. It was over. It was gone.
A dear dear friend of mine who is a nurse met us at the hospital that morning and knew what was going on. She stayed in the surgery room and took lots of pictures and was able to help us through. All those days going in for non stress tests had been a wonderful way to get to know many of the nurses. They had enjoyed getting to know us through this mutual friend and through the visits there several times a week. That day while I was having Izzy the police were at my house talking to my sister doing a welfare check to make sure that Sophie and Joy were OK.
The day after I had Izzy the person hired to handle the investigation for the CPS department showed up at the hospital. She was a therapist. She knew about RAD. She was given certain cases at the time that were more complex with more complex kiddos and families. She was supposed to come to the hospital to interview us the day that we had Izzy- but she had refused. That is why the police came to do the well child check up. She didn't want to steal anymore of our moment than had already been stolen. We are forever grateful for that one day of privacy. Because after that... there was none.
With this CPS investigator we had to write a safety plan. My husband would stay with me at the hospital. If any of the children came to visit us a nurse had to be present in the room with us to supervise. I was also being investigated for "neglect"... because if I had known that my husband was abusing the kids and had done nothing, I was potentially guilty by association. So yes, they had to keep our children safe from both of us.
The safety plan was put into my medical file so that all the nurses and our family doctor and the other doctors we were dealing with were all aware of the situation. It was at that point that I knew I had to call my doctor in and just explain to him what had happened. He knew Sophie and the issues and he was mortified that we had been dealing with so much.
Then the police detective came to the hospital. Not only were we being investigated by child protective services but also by the police. Since potentially a sex crime had been committed they had to open up a criminal investigation as well. They let us know that they would be bringing Sophie and Joy in for questioning and that they would have both the police and CPS there. They also let us know that they would be going to the schools of the other child to talk to them.
Numb. Angry. But mostly just numb.
Hours went by and then we got a call. My sister. Sophie had stuck to her story and further embellished and Joy recanted and said that "Sophie had told her to say a lie about Dad." Basically what we had assumed happened, did happen. Sophie had made everything up and was trying to destroy the family. The police and CPS still needed to talk to the other kids and they did end up going to school to talk to all the older children.
When at the school talking to the older children they were asked several really bizarre questions like:
"Do you own bathrobes?"
"Do you wrestle when you wear your bathrobe?"
"Do your parents keep naked pictures of themselves around the house?"
Good Lord. The things that Sophie had told them. Naked bathrobe wrestling matches. Really?
I know its not funny. But we still laugh when we see people wearing bathrobes. Like at the hot springs... everyone wears a bathrobe all over the place. Or when Nana came to visit and wore a bathrobe- we thought for sure we were doomed!
Lauren and Matt came to the hospital to visit and brought Angelina and Jude. The nurse (who happened to be our neighbors sister in law) came in the room and sat with us. She was a true blessing and made us as comfortable as possible even though she was "watching" us. After that visit we didn't have anymore of the kids come to the hospital. We were shocked when one of the therapists called to ask if they could bring Sophie to the hospital to meet the baby. (Umm... NO.)
Before we knew it- It was Friday morning. The day that we were supposed to discharged. We had known that the day before we could have gone home but because the investigation was going on we didn't want to leave without a plan. At one point we thought that I could go home with the baby and be with the kids and my husband would be going to stay with my Aunt. But then we found out that I wouldn't be able to bring the baby to see him or any of the other kids without supervision from a third party agreed upon by CPS. We just weren't willing to give anymore of this time or energy to Sophie. She had wanted all the control over the special moment in our families life and she was given every ounce of it. Even though they all knew that it was NOT true, they still had to get signatures and interviews done and things had to go through the process (which can take MONTHS).
We waited things out. We had the bags packed and we were ready to leave the hospital. We waited many long hours. What we didn't know was that the police detective was running around getting everything done and CPS as well so that we could rip up that safety plan and leave the hospital together and go home. What a blessing to come out of such a nightmare of a time.
I don't blog about this because I want to humiliate Sophie or air our dirty laundry. I wanted to write about it and add more details because I don't ever want to forget how I felt on this day, one year ago. I don't ever want to forget how much she is capable of destroying. I love Sophie so much, we all do. We are working through her demons and we are hopeful. We know that these are just baby steps. But to totally forget the details and forget how I was feeling would be dangerous. So I write because I don't ever want to forget. If I didn't tell you that there was a day in the past year that I didn't hurt because of this- I would be lying.
I am sweetly broken, wholly surrendered. (Listen to the song, so lovely!)
It had been only through Gods grace that we have made it through. Its been a hard year. One filled with so much blessing and so much love. Wow, I have an incredible life. But that under layer of pain has been constant. To gain and lose so much all within the same 24 hour period doesn't even seem possible.
“God whispers to us in our pleasures,
speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains:
It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”
C.S. Lewis
Friday, January 20, 2012
One week
It started snowing about a week ago. Since that time life has been at a standstill. When it snows here in the low lands of the Pacific Northwest they are never prepared. It isn't like getting a big snow in Ohio where they have the roads salted and cleared within 24 hours. Here life just stops.
School has been canceled all week. Everyone has cabin fever despite the fact that we braved the roads yesterday and took the kids to an indoor bounce around place and for today we had really hoped that they would be back in school. Not so much. At 5:30 this morning the school district gave us an automated call to let us know that they were having another snow day. At 7:30am the doctors office called to cancel an appointment, and at 7:45am the therapists office called to cancel another. Now our day is free and clear of pretty much everything.
This is how the entire week has been.
Two doctors, two therapists, four days of school... all canceled.
We have cleaned out the storage room and gone through tons of containers of clothing to donate, barter, resale and the house is slowly getting more organized than its ever been. What else is there to do?
The gifts for the baby shower we have next weekend are all wrapped and the cards been written. Today I think I will get the invitations done for the upcoming dual Princess and Pirate party we have in the works for Angelina and Isaac's combined 6th birthday. What else do I have to do?
My husband had surgery mid week to remove a large lump on his neck that we affectionately refer to as his "mini me". He opted to just have a local anesthetic done and not be put under. The lump ended up being pretty large (the 2nd largest the doctor had ever seen) and he probably should have been put under for it. He was brave though and only nearly passed out twice. Now he has a big scar on the back of his neck instead of a big lump. I was surprised at how large the scar is!
I don't have any new updates on my cousin Maggie. Thank you all who sent me emails and left comments for Maggie. Its been awesome to be able to add those to her caring bridge page each day and I know she reads and re-reads them all and loves knowing that people care! Please keep the prayers coming.
A few weeks ago we watched this documentary "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" at the recommendations of a dear friend (IRL) Renee. We did our research and bought a basic, not too expensive juicer. We have all been enjoying fresh juice and hope that it helps with our quest for better health and fitness! If you haven't seen the documentary, you definitely should. Its really eye opening!
Stay warm!
School has been canceled all week. Everyone has cabin fever despite the fact that we braved the roads yesterday and took the kids to an indoor bounce around place and for today we had really hoped that they would be back in school. Not so much. At 5:30 this morning the school district gave us an automated call to let us know that they were having another snow day. At 7:30am the doctors office called to cancel an appointment, and at 7:45am the therapists office called to cancel another. Now our day is free and clear of pretty much everything.
This is how the entire week has been.
Two doctors, two therapists, four days of school... all canceled.
We have cleaned out the storage room and gone through tons of containers of clothing to donate, barter, resale and the house is slowly getting more organized than its ever been. What else is there to do?
The gifts for the baby shower we have next weekend are all wrapped and the cards been written. Today I think I will get the invitations done for the upcoming dual Princess and Pirate party we have in the works for Angelina and Isaac's combined 6th birthday. What else do I have to do?
My husband had surgery mid week to remove a large lump on his neck that we affectionately refer to as his "mini me". He opted to just have a local anesthetic done and not be put under. The lump ended up being pretty large (the 2nd largest the doctor had ever seen) and he probably should have been put under for it. He was brave though and only nearly passed out twice. Now he has a big scar on the back of his neck instead of a big lump. I was surprised at how large the scar is!
I don't have any new updates on my cousin Maggie. Thank you all who sent me emails and left comments for Maggie. Its been awesome to be able to add those to her caring bridge page each day and I know she reads and re-reads them all and loves knowing that people care! Please keep the prayers coming.
A few weeks ago we watched this documentary "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" at the recommendations of a dear friend (IRL) Renee. We did our research and bought a basic, not too expensive juicer. We have all been enjoying fresh juice and hope that it helps with our quest for better health and fitness! If you haven't seen the documentary, you definitely should. Its really eye opening!
Stay warm!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Birthdays
Before I start the birthday post...
I wanted to give an update on my cousin Maggie.
Maggie had surgery to get a trach for her vent. She was able to breathe on her own for three hours but her breathing is very labored. She is having a hard time coughing so she needs to be suctioned a lot. It is very good news and a huge answer to prayer that she was able to breathe for three hours off the vent. Please continue to pray that her level of paralysis is lower than they think and that she will be able to breathe on her own. She isn't able to fully talk yet but is doing a good job communicating what she needs.
Maggie has really enjoyed getting special messages of people thinking and praying for her. It would mean the world to her (even if she doesn't know you) to know you care and know you are thinking of her. If you want to leave a comment and let her know your praying I can forward those messages along to her. She is having my Aunts read her all the messages and prayers several times a day and it means so much to her to know that she has people all over the world praying. Thank you!!
Grace took her boyfriend (as seen above)
and a few friends with her sibs up to the
mountain for the day. They spent the day
"tubing" and playing in the snow.
Then came back home for dinner and cake/ice cream.
(Not sure why Jude is without clothing?)
Micah then spent the rest of evening reading
stories to Graces younger siblings.
(with all the voices!)
Micah is a HUGE hit at our house.
(love Dominick's face in this picture, so silly)
Happy Birthday Grace!!
Last week Sophie turned 14.
She was able to come home for her birthday because she continues to
work really hard at therapy and with mending the broken relationships.
We were thrilled that we could all be together on her birthday.
Sophie got some new soft socks and a special candy dish that says
"As far as everyone knows we are a normal family!"
We all got a kick out of that.
Leishan rushed home from college classes to be here for the party.
Then she had to leave again for another birthday party.
We were thankful she made the effort to be here for Sophie.
We continue to just take things one day at a time and appreciate the good days with her.Things have been REALLY good. Really normal. Really like the Sophie that we haven't seen in a long long long time. She has been able to be honest about her lies and manipulations and please God, just let this time it all be for real!
(A silly side note is that the Moms from my adoption support group said that they would go repossess the sewing machine if things ended up blowing up after we gave it to her. I love my Mom friends!!)
Since Sophie picked ice cream sundaes
we gave her a birthday candle to
wish on and blow out.
Sophie then made her wish.
And cried.
Next year she hopes to be home
FULL TIME
for her birthday.
Praise God for my beautiful children.
We love birthdays.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Updates and thoughts
My cousin still needs your prayers. Today they found some blood clots and there is discussion going on how to handle them. They have put in a filter to help with these. They are doing testing to see if Maggie will be able to be off the ventilator anytime soon. Please keep praying that this is possible. A bullet shattered her C5. That can have dire consequences. Functionally her brain is working just fine. Praise God for that... but at the same time I can't even begin to grasp the emotional and psychological pain she has and will have for a lifetime.
I just can't believe how fast life can change in the blink of an eye. I think back when I was 21 years old like Maggie and how invincible I felt. How I felt like the world was my oyster and I could do or be anything I wanted to be. How I had more hopes and dreams and passion for finding myself than ever. Old enough to experience all that life has to offer and young enough to remain naive about existence. In one split second everything can change. Its a vivid reminder to hug my children, to forgive others and not harbor anger, to live in the moment, to seize the day... and a reminder to thank others and be grateful.
When I was leaving the gym last night with my husband and we walked out the van, he unlocked my door, and thought about Maggie and in that moment seeing a man running towards her shooting and how it would feel to run away. I don't think that you could ever feel like you could run fast enough to dodge a speeding bullet. I remembered to say thank you to the folks that work at my gym, to my older kids for watching their younger Sib's so we could go to the gym, and to my husband for opening my door. I just don't want to waste anymore life. SO much of it I have wasted being worried and angry and hopeless.
My Aunt J.
My Aunt J (who is Maggie's Mom) is super special to me. I have lots of special Aunties... but Aunt J. has always had a super special place in my heart. My cousin Jessica (who is Maggie's older sister) was born with significant birth defects and special needs. I was blessed to be able to watch my Aunt J. raise my cousin Jessica into a beautiful young woman. I was blessed that this just became part of normal life- being with people with different abilities and disabilities. Jessica was a few years younger than me but I would have still considered her my peer. It was about the time that I had my first baby that I knew my Aunt J. was navigating letting go of being Jessica's constant caregiver and I knew how being a Mom felt and how difficult this must have been for her to be able to give Jessica independence when there was so much worry involved in the letting go process and life changing times for them both. I love remembering being a teenager and seeing my Aunt J. in public with Jessica and being so proud of her accomplishments and smiling when Jessica might have done something not so age appropriate and how she always has treated her every bit with high expectations...and Jessica has lived up to every one!
My Aunt J had adopted Maggie when she was a baby. My Aunt J. was one of the women in my life that made "adoption" a normal, beautiful, awesome thing. It is was most definitely a contributing factor to my life and my decision to not only be an adoptive Mom, but an adoptive Mom to children who have special needs. I think about my Aunt J. and how she really has had a rough life. So many difficult things as a mother that she has dealt with. It seems tragically unfair. Yet at the same time I know that God has long worked to prepare her heart for the rough road ahead for her beautiful Maggie. She has learned how to embrace challenges, how to appreciate small victories and how to keep hope alive in desperate circumstances. Could you please pray for her? My Mommy heart aches for my Aunt.
The last most special thing about my Aunt J., cousin Jessica and cousin Maggie- is that they live in Texas. I have spent a fair amount of time there with Jude and of course with Christella and Helande. My Aunt was able to be the first family member to meet all three of them, to hold and love on them, and to get to know them. And you know what? As a loving Aunt I might have told my niece that she was nuts bringing all these special babies over to Texas for surgery. But because of who my Aunt J. is- she was nothing but supportive and loving. When Ella passed away she was able to support me emotionally. I still remember her holding Ella and telling me she wished she could keep "this one" when we were in Texas. Ella had that special way of just making your heart melt and my Aunt J.'s heart is definitely a melter!
I hope and pray that my Aunt J. and her girls can feel just an ounce of the love and support that she showed us all.
Thanks for your prayers.
I just can't believe how fast life can change in the blink of an eye. I think back when I was 21 years old like Maggie and how invincible I felt. How I felt like the world was my oyster and I could do or be anything I wanted to be. How I had more hopes and dreams and passion for finding myself than ever. Old enough to experience all that life has to offer and young enough to remain naive about existence. In one split second everything can change. Its a vivid reminder to hug my children, to forgive others and not harbor anger, to live in the moment, to seize the day... and a reminder to thank others and be grateful.
When I was leaving the gym last night with my husband and we walked out the van, he unlocked my door, and thought about Maggie and in that moment seeing a man running towards her shooting and how it would feel to run away. I don't think that you could ever feel like you could run fast enough to dodge a speeding bullet. I remembered to say thank you to the folks that work at my gym, to my older kids for watching their younger Sib's so we could go to the gym, and to my husband for opening my door. I just don't want to waste anymore life. SO much of it I have wasted being worried and angry and hopeless.
My Aunt J.
My Aunt J (who is Maggie's Mom) is super special to me. I have lots of special Aunties... but Aunt J. has always had a super special place in my heart. My cousin Jessica (who is Maggie's older sister) was born with significant birth defects and special needs. I was blessed to be able to watch my Aunt J. raise my cousin Jessica into a beautiful young woman. I was blessed that this just became part of normal life- being with people with different abilities and disabilities. Jessica was a few years younger than me but I would have still considered her my peer. It was about the time that I had my first baby that I knew my Aunt J. was navigating letting go of being Jessica's constant caregiver and I knew how being a Mom felt and how difficult this must have been for her to be able to give Jessica independence when there was so much worry involved in the letting go process and life changing times for them both. I love remembering being a teenager and seeing my Aunt J. in public with Jessica and being so proud of her accomplishments and smiling when Jessica might have done something not so age appropriate and how she always has treated her every bit with high expectations...and Jessica has lived up to every one!
My Aunt J had adopted Maggie when she was a baby. My Aunt J. was one of the women in my life that made "adoption" a normal, beautiful, awesome thing. It is was most definitely a contributing factor to my life and my decision to not only be an adoptive Mom, but an adoptive Mom to children who have special needs. I think about my Aunt J. and how she really has had a rough life. So many difficult things as a mother that she has dealt with. It seems tragically unfair. Yet at the same time I know that God has long worked to prepare her heart for the rough road ahead for her beautiful Maggie. She has learned how to embrace challenges, how to appreciate small victories and how to keep hope alive in desperate circumstances. Could you please pray for her? My Mommy heart aches for my Aunt.
The last most special thing about my Aunt J., cousin Jessica and cousin Maggie- is that they live in Texas. I have spent a fair amount of time there with Jude and of course with Christella and Helande. My Aunt was able to be the first family member to meet all three of them, to hold and love on them, and to get to know them. And you know what? As a loving Aunt I might have told my niece that she was nuts bringing all these special babies over to Texas for surgery. But because of who my Aunt J. is- she was nothing but supportive and loving. When Ella passed away she was able to support me emotionally. I still remember her holding Ella and telling me she wished she could keep "this one" when we were in Texas. Ella had that special way of just making your heart melt and my Aunt J.'s heart is definitely a melter!
I hope and pray that my Aunt J. and her girls can feel just an ounce of the love and support that she showed us all.
Thanks for your prayers.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Prayer request update
Please continue to pray for my niece Maggie and her beautiful family. She suffered terrible gunshot wounds including one to the neck that has left her with significant medical needs. She is currently on a ventilator and we would appreciate your prayers for healing. We are pleased to share that she has been upgraded to stable condition. It would truly be a miracle for her to be able to breathe on her own. Pray! Thank you!
Monday, January 09, 2012
URGENT PRAYER REQUEST
Please pray for my cousin Maggie who was shot last night when leaving work. She is in critical condition.
News story HERE.
News story HERE.
Speaking of Justin Bieber
He fits in far too well with our silly family and of course the boys got a kick out of it!
Thanks for making us smile Ben!
Friday, January 06, 2012
Christmas Day
The final Christmas post!
Whoohoo!
We were truly blessed this year by
special gifts from "Santa".
We have wanted a "roller board"
for AJ and Jude for a long time.
Its not only fun but helps them with balance.
(Jude above is riding it to get his stocking.)
Santa always hides the stockings at our house.
Izzy was so sleepy but thought
it was really fun to open gifts!
Jude got a new race car from Nana.
Santa brought nerf guns for
all the boys! They have been a hit!
Leishan woke up at the crack of dawn to
open gifts and got herself all dressed
and her makeup on!
Lulu was thrilled to have the Justin Bieber
book she has been dreaming about!
Whatever can it be Grace?
Izzy making silly faces.
Dom got some new cool shoes from Santa.
After opening gifts we cleaned up the big mess while
listening to Christmas music. I popped the cinnamon
rolls in the oven to warm with two casseroles, cut
up some fruit and started to set the table.
Shortly later the "biggest" kids arrived
for a special brunch and to visit.
We went to church on Christmas Eve so
The rest of Christmas day was spent
enjoying one another and enjoying our
new things. It was truly a blessed Christmas!
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Spina Bifida Holiday Party
So during the breakfast with Santa...
David, Cole, Grace and Dominick
(and Cheyenne- Graces friend)
were all with our friends at the SBA
getting things ready and set up
for the annual Holiday party.
We try our best when we have out of
town activities to maximize our time
with back to back excitement! lol
I was really thankful that our SB group
allowed the older kids to help out
because it gave them something
to do and somewhere to be while
the rest of us were at breakfast with Santa.
And I know that they were treated to
lots of donuts for breakfast.
They even allowed Dominick to handle
the cookie decorating station.
That must be why I have no pictures of him!
(Or Jude or Isaac... they were there too.)
Each year our SB group puts on a wonderful
holiday party. Complete with a gift for each
child and lots of crafts for them to take home.
They had a lunch and play this year
and plenty of caroling for AJ.
I wanted to be certain to include
both weird pictures of Grace
and this silly Cheyenne picture
to encourage these pretty girls
to not always make funny faces
when we take pictures.
This one should be called
"Izzy needs a hair do!"
AJ is completely in her element
with her SB friends. We have so
enjoyed getting to know them
over the years.
Yet another silly Grace picture.
Cole would never allow a silly
picture to be taken of him.
His hair is always perfectly JB.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
