I love this...

stress is like water...we caulk, we add gutter guards, we run dehumidifiers round the clock, and we brag that "we have no water in the basement." But one day the water drips down the wall, seeps in through a crack in the foundation, and mold appears on a 20 year old stuffed animal

Fire

Remember when THIS happened?
That was not a good time.

Because of THIS... I take FIRE very seriously.

Last week my neighbor and friend who lives across the street emailed me a not so welcome email letting me know that she had looked over at my house and for a brief moment she saw a flash of fire coming from my roof. Maybe this was some kind of a warning sign and she couldn't NOT say something to let us know what she saw- just in case we needed to heed this as a warning etc.

My husband rolled his eyes and got annoyed when we I made everyone gather for a family meeting to talk about the fire drill and some fire safety stuff. I also told him to change the batteries in the smoke detectors and replace the furnace filter etc. Just in case right? This was certainly a good reminder that we need to be proactive!

Since Robert and I are upstairs with LOTS of very small children (four of which would need help getting out) its really important that we are all on the same page. So we made a plan and decided that we would have a practice once a month to keep everyone on the same page.

So it wasn't so funny last night when we were awake at 2:30am with Izzie and the smoke detector right outside our bedroom door went off. It was LOUD. Not ONE child woke up... and as he was racing around the house making sure there was no fire/smoke etc. Izzie fell back to sleep. There was no smoke, no fire, not a thing that would explain why it went off.

We decided that it was because the battery needed replacing. So Robert changed the battery and put the detector back up... and came back to bed. And we both laid very still and waited.

And waited.
About two mins...

And then BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP it went off AGAIN.

Robert then thought that he best try to take down the filter that is in the ceiling right by the detector (he hadn't changed it yet). He took it out, reset the detector and BEEP BEEP BEEP. It went off again!

By this time we were sure that at least ONE of the kids would have woken up.
But no... they were all STILL sleeping.

We took down the smoke detector and put it on the kitchen table (where it went off again!) and tried to figure out if there was a non emergency number for the fire department. No such luck- so Robert called 911 just to find out if there could be something else wrong causing this to happen and certainly if there was some kind of fire in the wall or something we would want to be sure we were all safe.

The fire department came.
They didn't see/smell anything wrong.
They decided that the smoke detector was bad.
And we should replace it.

Let's just say there wasn't much sleep happening last night at our house- for some of us.
Please pray for no fires. No more drama. OK?

Growing

Photo credit... the fabulous Renee from Little Earthling Photography (friend and mom to many)

I love this sweet picture of skinny wrinkled Izzie from 2 weeks ago. However- my Mom says "its painful she is so skinny!" Certainly not your typical chubby gestational diabetes baby.
I can't even imagine how they measured (many times) an abdomen over the 98th growth percentile?

And now for some big news...
I am proud to report that Isabella gained almost A POUND last week. She is definitely having more wakeful time and eating better than she ever has. Praise God, keep those prayers coming. I can't wait to see some chub rolls on her!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.”
Proverbs 3:5-6

Playing it safe

Do you know Katie?
If you don't know her, you should take the time to get to know her.
She will MOVE you.

Katie doesn't play it safe. Katie lives her life to see Jesus.
I don't think "we" (my family) plays it safe either.
And this concerns and bothers some people.

While I don't really care or spend time worrying about what people think of me... I do care how this affects my children. The past week I have had some situations that have added insult to injury. I live transparently and share things on this blog publicly and then people in my community read the blog, judge my family, and don't want their children friends with my children. So then when my kids go to school they are told things like "my parents don't want me to hang out with you because you have a sibling who XYZ and it could be a bad influence on me." Ouch.

This makes me hurt for my kids and I wonder if I should just have a blog with only fluff and cute pictures and not really share about the tough stuff. I was upset and then I was angry and then I talked to a friend (who told me about Katie's latest post) and then I spent the evening praying. And I realized that my kids are alright. They are OK. They don't want to live life safely hidden away in shame or denial. They know our family takes risks and has many children from many backgrounds with many histories and that they are survivors and that they are wonderful people. And like Katie- we want to see Jesus too. While I don't put myself out there near as much as Katie does (not nearly as much as I probably should be)-her words served as encouragement to my children to know that we are on the right path- because we are on HIS path.

Not the easy path. Not the one that its rosy and always making full of perfect choices. Not the one that doesn't need changing from time to time. Not the one that looks like its all good all the time. Not the one that doesn't come with challenges and rewards that are plentiful. HIS path that he lays out before us and that we choose to follow because we want to see Jesus.

Please go and read Katie's post.

Seeking answers

Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6

My Mom left yesterday. We miss her a great deal. She was such a blessing to have here for three weeks and we are forever grateful that she was able to come on such short notice. She really helped us to get through one of the toughest times in our lives and one of the greatest blessings we were able to share with her.

My Mom took with her one of our children. We aren't sure what the future holds for this child but we are hoping that they are able (with relatives) to get the help that they need so that they can find hope and stop suffering. I am not going to blog too much about this right now because the emotions are SO raw for me. I am disappointed in myself, in my family, and angry at this child, at the system, at the other child, at the outcome, at not being able to make them better, at having to make decisions for my family and figure out how to keep everyone safe and happy.
This sucks.

The other child we are desperately seeking help for her. She is older and has many more issues and there are lots of doors being closed on our efforts. In many ways we feel like we are being backed into a corner where we have to make harsh decisions in order to get her help. For right now we are hoping for even a temporary out of home placement so that we have time to work with the other kids and therapists to heal the situation. With her still at home we all feel that we are at a standstill. And in many ways we are suffocating waiting for something tragic to happen.

Isabella is having a hard time gaining weight. Because of the jaundice and the gestational diabetes she isn't a great eater. We are now supplementing her several times a day with high calorie formula (in addition to being breastfed every 2.5 hours or so). She is the happiest, sweetest little baby though. She is very content and very engaged when she is awake. The doctor is watching her closely and hopefully this week she will have made some gains.

Jude is having an especially hard time since my Mom left. :(
Please keep us all in your prayers. We are clinging onto the hope that the next few weeks will bring about great wonderful changes for all the things we are struggling with.

I will try to find something happy to blog about and I know this has turned into one depressing post after another. Thus why I am not blogging so much- because sometimes if there is nothing nice to say- why bother saying anything at all?

Isabella Hope

Isabella had her first pictures taken on Saturday morning. I am really blessed to have a fellow blogger as a friend who also has an amazing photography business and awesome skills. If you want to view some more GO HERE and see Izzies first photos. :)

Hey guess what... LIZ- you won the gift certificate to CSN stores!
Chosen by the computer- comment number 14 was yours!

True Random Number Generator
Min: 1
Max: 34
Result:
14
And as far as the closest guess for baby Isabellas weight and length-
the winner left this guess:

Domestic Diva said...I'm guessing 21" and 7 pounds, 11 ounces.

Thursday, January 27, 2011 4:29:00 AM

Pretty darn close!
Email me at sisters3designs@aol.com so that I can get your address to mail your special secret prize out soon.

This and that.

*Please stop the emotional roller coaster and let me off.
*This little honey above is in Eastern Europe. She has Spina Bifida and she needs a family. My sister Nina has more information and a video has been requested. Please contact her for more information at nina.thompson@chiadopt.org

*Isabella has jaundice so I have been trying to nurse as much as possible to get her weight back up and help the jaundice go away. It wasn't significant enough to need the bili lights but she is a sleepy girl and sometimes its hard to feel like she is getting enough to eat.

*I am healing well from the c-section but still very tired. A lot of the exhaustion likely has to do with the emotional turmoil here at home. Hoping and praying for peace soon.

*The incident on the eve of Isabella's birth involved two of our children (both have RAD and were in high emotional states- "Moms having a baby tomorrow!!".) I won't disclose details but we are definitely at a place of questioning the safety in our home for our other children (mostly emotionally) and where to go from here. We don't feel its right to continue to put our other children through this. What they have been through in the past week will take years to recover from. Its hard to let go, its hard to know when to let go and say "we have done all we can" and its hard to find peace with that. We have some plans for respite VERY soon so that we can all have a break and heal some, and determine where exactly to go from here. As much as its been hard to reach out to the professionals who work with these two children we have been really blessed with their support through all this. Praise God. If we didn't have them in place BEFORE the incident happened we would have been totally left in the dark and unable to even get help. I would encourage all of you who have kids with RAD to have ample professionals in place to help support your family and plan for the unthinkable. We never a million years thought this kind of thing would happen at our home... we have parented well over 50 children through the years and never had this kind of thing happen. Never say never. Lesson learned.

*I am so thankful to have my Mom here helping right now. I don't know what I would have done without her. (And my sister, husband and friends with meals! Thank you!!)

*I know I still need to pick the winners from the contest below. Hopefully that post will be tomorrow. Thanks for your patience.