Home with results

This was a busy and eventful day for Peanut. We aren't sure of his/her SEX yet. (Is that more PC of me buddy to not use gender inappropriately?) So keep on guessing please on the poll to the right- its fun to watch the guesses come in. We also learned that when you need to get a fetus to move around more so that they can finish the scan- there aren't many tricks to make it happen. Peanut we now know is highly uncooperative, yet while uncooperative, was really calm. We love calm. :)

The nuchal fold size was within "normal" limits. This doesn't mean too much- other than there is a 65% chance that Peanut doesn't have down syndrome- but of course they don't really know and are only looking for "markers" that would indicate further testing is needed. I opted to not do the blood tests after meeting with the geneticist because frankly we will love and cherish Peanut no matter what number of chromosomes he/she has.

They are looking into a family history of gamma globulin deficiency and what that means for Peanut. And I am SO informed about the genetics for little P.- we are ready. Peanut was measuring right about 12 weeks 5 days (give or take four days they said). So we seem to be right on target. The heart rate was 169. No pictures today- but they promised to send some in the mail. If you want to see what Peanut looks like at this stage you can take a look here or here.

Thank you Bekki and Grace for coming with me and not laughing at my private bits. :)
Thank you Nina for lending me your little car and cleaning it first- that was so nice.
Thank you Lauren for watching the crew so I could go check on Peanut.
Thank you ALL for praying. We felt your prayers!!!

Big Day for Peanut

Matthew 7:7
"Keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for." Matthew 7:7

(off to the big doctor... doctor yesterday found no heart beat- he said "don't panic!"... more soon... thanks for praying :)

Stuff and Stuff

These pictures are from when Nana was here. We took all the girls (and Isaac) pottery painting and for a tea party. DH took all the boys to go bowling. It was quite the outing and a lovely time.

This morning I took Isaac for a dental appointment- 2ND one in two weeks. This one was with a pediatric dental specialist who could use various forms of "anesthesia" to help Isaac relax and have his teeth fixed. He has some staining on his front teeth and I was also told that he had six cavities that needed repair. Because he was nervous at the regular dentist (understandably so as it was his first time there)- we had to go to the special dentist. Well today after he sat perfectly, listened well and behaved as if he had been there his whole life and gone to dental school- it was determined that he doesn't have cavities- he has some more staining on his back teeth and they MIGHT become cavities- but for now- we just need to wait and not let him eat sticky sugary foods like fruit snacks. (Which we rarely ever have anyhow.) Of course we were thrilled at this news because I didn't want to have to put him through anything scary. I have been really impressed with our family doctor too- who has put off blood work etc. until fall because he just wants Isaac to feel comfortable and not get too upset at the sight of a needle. He is thriving, gaining weight painfully slow despite eating really well, and super healthy- so why push the tests etc. right now? He had most immunizations in Haiti and several "tests". We are good to go!

Angeline had to come with us this morning... and to his doctor on Monday. Because she can't avoid being in Isaac's business. Plus she is the resident medical advocate of the family. Its quite comical to see how they interact in public like an old married couple and she is the bossy one and he's the one who forgot to "take his pills" that morning. Isaac just deals with it in stride. They couldn't have been better paired as siblings. :)

I think that I might have heard Peanuts heartbeat. It was 180. FAST. But just the one time. Tomorrow I go to the regular doc, and Friday is my big test and meeting with the genetic doctor. Grace is coming with me for the drive and my dear friend who lives not too far from the doctors is going to meet me there. What a blessing! I really didn't want to go alone. My husband is working out of town until Saturday night and I am praying heavily that he is DONE with this out of town job and doesn't have to go back out of town next week. I have only had the energy to workout twice a week the weeks that he has been gone and I am SO feeling it emotionally/physically. We need him home so that I can have more balance in life! The next job he is on will last for several months and is "in town"- just 15 mins. from home. (And of course we are praying that they get "winter" work this year.) I am having some anxiety about the doctors appointments tomorrow and Friday and hope that things go well- and of course that they see the baby thriving and hear the heartbeat at the doctors tomorrow.

I added a "poll" on the side bar to see if anyone wanted to take a guess at Peanuts gender. We already have some names picked out for both a baby boy and a baby girl (which I have already hinted to on this blog somewhere). The specialist might take a "guess" on Friday during the scan as to the "angle of the dangle" and whether Peanut is a boy or girl. Depending on many factors we might or might not be able to tell with any amount of accuracy. I am totally into knowing the gender ahead of time because waiting for anything is very difficult for me. (Can't you tell?) I will give you all some "hints" as I don't have an inkling either way if we are having a boy or girl:

1. Biological grandchildren in my family amongst my Sib's are 7 girls and 2 boys.
2. I am craving SAVORY foods and not too many sweets.
3. Heartbeat 180 (only heard one time)
4. Still having some nausea but its definitely less frequent
5. Chinese lunar calendar says "It's a Boy!"
6. The very reliable gender predictor online "doesn't know"

Take a Guess!! Happy Wednesday everyone.

Ghetto Slip n Slide

I don't think that I ever told you about the ghetto slip and slide that we made. Well because I can tend to be a bit on frugal side and because we all know how anal I am... we use plastic table cloths and because I don't want to waste them when they are ruined- I keep them. You just never know when your going to need to lay down a "tarp" for a messy craft or need to put three old tablecloths together to make a slip in slide.
So we put them together and we soaped them up. This is another seasonal mistake that we make with dish soap because inevitably someone gets it in their eyes. So this year we encouraged the use of swim goggles. Joy was having far too much fun spraying Lulu.

Angeline loved using the hose too and Isaac was FREEZING within minutes of getting wet. Dream big- you too someday can make yourself a ghetto slip and slide. :)

The weekend away with Joy was wonderful. She was very much in her element being a center of attention. Angeline really had a hard time with Mommy leaving for the night with Joy and not with her. Angeline desperately wants to have a night away with Mom instead of a Birthday Party next year. I told her- NO problem! A special night away of eating volcano cake at the Rain forest Cafe and shopping/swimming until our feet hurt beyond repair was a good time. Far less stress than a big birthday bash! Joy picked out a new mermaid barbie, dress up dance outfit, party dress, headbands and purse at the mall. She ate grilled cheese two times and had a giant bag of skittles which made her silly on sugar!

My husband got home late on Saturday night and then left again this morning at 4am. During the time that he was home (30 hours or so)- he visited three hardware stores a total of four times. He went to pick up pool supplies so the kids could have a cleaner pool (above ground) to swim in this week. And he tried to repair our old dishwasher and when he couldn't he went out and bought me a brand spanking new shiny one that is such a gift. After only one week of handwashing for our family minus four- I was SOLD at whatever new machine he wanted to buy. Then instead of eating his dinner last night he spent the evening installing it. :( He didn't gripe, he didn't look for accolades, he is the love of my life and I appreciate him SO much after his 70+ hour work week out of town to be able to come home, hold down the troops, and get the things done that I needed done. I am one happy Mama.

The "heavy situation" with one of our older kids is going to resolve itself soon I just know it. I am feeling a lot better about things seeing this "big kid" getting their act together and choices back in line. Phew!!

This week is appointment week overload. I still haven't heard when I am headed south for the NT test... but when I do- Bekki I would love to take you up on some hand holding girl! That would be so nice of you to meet me at the hospital!!

HAVE A HAPPY MONDAY!!

The Stuff on My Mind

Sweet Baby Lena: Lena was our host baby from Haiti and we haven't been able to get ANY update at all since the earthquake in Haiti over 6 months ago. We have emailed, face booked, and generally "bugged" the folks that may know something and they have even replied to me. I don't get it. If they don't know anything- can't they just tell me? Its killing me.

Hubby: My hubby has been out of town working since Monday in the wee hours of the morning. He won't be home until late tonight- then he is here for two short nights and leaves again early Monday morning. I miss him. And my dishwasher isn't working. I don't know how to fix it. So tomorrow I hope he will be able to figure it out. Or replace it. :)

Joy: Joy has her 6th birthday coming up really soon. Today we are leaving for the night with Aunt Nina and cousin Zoe (uncle Terry is coming to babysit until Dad gets home). We have a fun filled night away planned for the two birthday girls and some shopping too. I am really looking forward to this one on one time with Joy. She is beyond excited of course!

Mortality: My nephews best friend passed away. He was adopted and had a heart problem. The death was sudden and had nothing to do with his heart. Please pray for my nephew and this boys wonderful large adoptive family. Life is so precious!!! Hug your babies!!

Peanut: I am not able to find Peanuts heartbeat on the doppler. (Unless its slower than it should be- which likely is MY heartbeat.) We also have the Nuchal Trans. Scan coming up this week if the doctors office can get an appointment at the big city hospital to get it done sometime in the next week. Since my hubby will be out of town, I might be flying solo on this appointment and it makes me nervous. There is part of me that feels very NOT pregnant anymore. My nausea is mostly gone, my bbs are still sore- and I am tired- but that's about it other than the ligament pulling I have had for several weeks. Its better knowing than not knowing- but still- worrisome! (I haven't had anymore spotting but just to remind you all- we never saw the heartbeat at the first ultrasound because it was too early.)
With extra belly fat and a tilted uterus it does make the heartbeat more difficult to find but I keep replaying in my head what the drive hours home will be like if I get bad news. (I know that I need to stop- but I tend to doomsday this entire thing!)

I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend. :)
Did you see that THIS is already in the works of being planned.
Oh me oh my. So fun. Do you have your calendar marked?

Rainbows

This rainbow is from last week.

It was glorious.

This rainbow should be from today.

We have made progress with Sophie

and her treatment plans.

We have options.

We are using most all of them

RIGHT AWAY.

More is more.

We have managed to get 3 months

of funding for play therapy and EMDR.

(Five Hours per month)

Which originally insurance

wouldn't cover- we found funding.

(and I really adore this therapist

and she is seeing Joy too!!)

AND WE HAVE MORE NEWS....

Today... Sophie is finally

FINALLY

officially

in the hospitalization alternative program

(can you see the light way there on the horizon?)

Its been months of waiting.

But today we meet her new therapist

and her new case manager.

She even has a treatment

respite care family lined up

to give us all a break from

one another. Praise God.

I am so grateful for everyone

praying and working so hard

on her behalf.

There is hope.

There is hope.

There is hope.

And there was none...

for so long.

Adoptive Family needed- 7 month old- UPDATE

UPDATE:
I heard from two Texas friends this morning- one who emailed me the other day about a friend interested in this same little guy- and another who called to inquire and was told that they are getting a surprising number of calls about him today! Yeah!!! He will have his forever family (in Texas) soon. I just know it!

This sweet baby boy (in the USA) needs an adoptive family. He was born with Spina Bifida (just like Angeline and Jude). Follow THIS LINK to read more about him!

Ladies Man

I just found these pictures.

Jude- what a Ladies Man.

He still won't stop saying.

Maggie? Maggie? Maggie?

He is so in his element with

all the attention on him

and all the girls around him.

Happy Day.

The Sound of Silence

(Leishan 22 with boyfriend Vince)

Sorry for the ongoing days of silence. I wanted to be sure that everyone saw the big give away (see the post below this one) and I have been adjusting to a quieter life of sorts. This past week Lauren and I were home "alone" with just the four little ones. We have been missing the other "guys" (brothers and sisters), Nana and the cousins, and Dad too (who works out of town during the week right now). Also there has been a big thing going on with one of the kids that has been weighing me down emotionally. I was avoiding blogging because I didn't want to verbal diarrhea all over the blog with this child's private business.

Let's just say that it's not Leishan (pictured above), who in the past months has rarely made a blog post good or bad. Leishan is doing great and has been together with her boyfriend for well over a year. She is working at the T*rget and hoping to get back to college this fall. Her and her boyfriend both have blond hair now because they had dyed one anothers hair pink a couple months ago. Unlike certain people I understand what it means to have absolutely no control over choices that adult children make. But like certain people I "get" why "its just hair"- but somethings can just wait until they decide to make thier own bad mistakes and don't need to be rushed along by me right? :) (still adore ya M.M.- just don't quite understand ya sometimes)

So the heavy emotions have to do with one of our "other" adult kids making some fast and hard adult choices that will affect their future. And a first love in their life that has all consumed the person that they were- and its been scary for me to witness because this young adult has a very strong personality and very strong intelligent mind. Watching how fast things like faith, family, boundaries, goals, self esteem etc. fly out the window when the hormones take over scares the living shit out of me.

Never say never Moms.

They all make choices that make us cringe at times.

That cause sleepless nights.

That make my knees weak from praying.

That you can only wish something you might have said or taught them sticks long enough for them to remember who they really are outside of the "moments".

Another issue is that its been funky with my husband back at work. We had really meshed eight months of being together all the time. Even though we went through times of annoyance with one another it had become our new normal. So with him back and work AND out of town during the week its been difficult. He is working long hours while out of town and the communication has been only one early morning quick hello and one nighttime phone call where we are both typically exhausted. This doesn't make for lots of warm fuzzies on the weekend while he is home. Especially when he does really asshat kind of things.

Hubby is working on a boat. He drives this boat with cutters on it up and down a river where they trim all of this thick growing plant at the bottom of the river. This helps keep the river from flooding the homes that sit along it. The plant debris floats down the river into a contraption that they built and then another guy uses the excavator to pull the debris out of the water and into a dump truck.

So this past Thursday after a busy long day of hauling small children to the pool, swimming a mile with my tired pregnant self, play therapy with Joy that was emotional, errands, park, etc. I got home to a phone call from my hubby asking me if I wanted to drive to his work site to meet him.... three plus hours away. I was also in the midst of Bank of America wanting more documents from me (we are still sorting out getting caught up on our loan now that our income will be normal)- which they needed RIGHT AWAY. My husband explains that he lost the "baggie" in the river that had his work truck key, the boat key and his cell phone in it. It had fallen out of his swim trunk pocket at some point during the day.

I told him to go look for it and call me back in 1/2 an hour. He said he would have to find a phone but managed to call me back two hours later while I sat and fretted about having to go to his office here, get the key, and drive it down to him. I made a list of different locksmiths local to where he was and planned to give him the numbers once he called me back. He just took for-freaking ever to call me.

Finally he calls and I give him the numbers. He tries them both and goes with the cheaper guy. This is the night he is supposed to be coming home for three days off- but instead he is sitting in his wet clothes with no phone, no money, credit cards, nothing waiting for hours on end for this locksmith to show up. Now as a woman I wouldn't have waited more than half an hour before I called someone else. My husband waited till they showed at 10:30 pm. But meanwhile I was waiting for him to call to tell me that he got a new key made and was on his way home. He didn't have easy access to a phone so he just decided that he wouldn't call me. Big mistake. Nothing like sitting up all night wondering if your husband is OK and if your going to have to drive out of town at a moments notice.

Finally sometime in the middle of the night he gets home and the next morning "we talk about it". The guy showed up, spoke not much English, used the VIN number to make a new key, had said he would charge $135- but instead charged $329- and there was a spare key inside the truck that his boss forgot about. (So he basically could have just gotten the locksmith to let him in the work truck.) It was late, he was cold, so instead of trying to argue with the guy... he pays the bill and makes his way home. And he also forgot to tell me that he had cut his foot earlier in the week then spent the week working in the mucky river and had a big old foot infection. So Friday he spent the day with his stinky foot at the doctors getting medication for the infection.

Now spare me for being the worlds bossiest wife- because I know full well that I am- but can anyone see why sometimes its necessary to be this way? Well actually why most of the time I need to be this way? Controlling and bossy? Because if I weren't- not only would he still be sitting cold and wet three hours away but would also have gangrene on his foot which would have disabled him enough that he couldn't jog home. Which likely crossed his mind more than once. What it can't be more than 180 miles?

So basically the entire weekend has been spent just getting him feeling better to leave again tonight. And getting me feeling better so I don't continue to "rip him a new one" each time he breaths or gazes the wrong way in my direction. (I am feeling every bit the moody pregnant lady that I am- don't try me!)

P.S. If you made it to the end of this rambling- I will be drawing a winner soon for the giveaway!

My Four

Four children are now flying high in the air.
We are missing them like crazy and praying that they have a quiet flight compared to the one the cousins and Nana had the other night. I am exhausted and online shopping with one eye closed... waiting until a "decent hour" on the east coast to call and give an update.

Please pray especially for Lulu who is traveling for the first time away without Mom and/or Dad.

xoxoxo

A MUST READ

Drowning doesn't look like drowning.... If your planning to go swimming this summer, or to let your family members go swimming please visit the link and read this article without delay. It's vital that you understand the signs of drowning as 375 children will drown this year with their parents or other adults "watching" them do so and not even realizing that the child is in distress. Drowning doesn't look like waving arms and screams for help, drowning is quiet, fast, and deadly.

As a former lifeguard and advocate for everyone swimming as much as possible- I encourage you all to be safe rather than sorry. Inflatable "water wings" are very unreliable as are most other swimming aids (even those certified aren't completely drowning proof)- if your child can't swim- please get in the water with them and stay within an arms reach irregardless of their "safety contraptions".

If your child has had swim lessons and can do most of the strokes and even make it across the pool- this doesn't mean that they don't need your direct supervision in the water. If your child "swims" but often tires easily and coughs and chokes on water often- they aren't really ready to swim without you and you might want to keep the "floatie" on a little longer. Even after being a lifeguard for many years a friends children came with my children to the pool one day and I nearly let one of her children drown. I made the mistake of taking "her word for it" when she said her 8 year old knew how to swim. I also knew that where he was getting in the pool he could probably stand so he would be OK- NOT SO. Before I knew it I turned around to find the lifeguard pulling him out of the water. He had jumped in just a little too far to the right and was barely a foot inside the "too deep for him" water. Lesson learned- always keep friend and neighborhood children close before you know for yourself whether or not they can truly swim!

Make sure that if your pool/lake doesn't make the children take frequent breaks that you establish this rule. After hours in the water/sun its very easy for even a good swimmer to get tired out easily. In Australia we went to a beach that wasn't often swam because of the strong current and I didn't heed the advice of my chaperone's and found myself exhausted and a mile down the beach before I could get out of the water. (Strong swimmer, totally prepared, still could have drowned!)

Stay safe! Read the article!

So excited

While I love being Mom to this big family I must admit that I am so excited at the quiet week ahead of me. Six children will be gone this week leaving at home just Lauren and the four Little's. I am thrilled at the idea of getting to have some time with Lauren and of course time doing fun things that the little ones love to do. (like dress up)

The heat wave is almost over. Today its only going to be 77 which is significantly better than it has been for days. I am exhausted. Hubby is now home, the house is under super clean Saturday works, and I am at such peace knowing that life is going to slow down this week. I need it SO bad.

Peanut is doing well as far as I can tell. Still having the normal early pregnancy symptoms- exhaustion, nausea, food cravings and aversions, moodiness, etc. I broke down and rented a Doppler monitor that should be here sometime this week so I can see for myself if I can find his/her heartbeat. We still might be a little early. (10 weeks+ along at this point)

My Pap test came back abnormal. :(

This can be common during pregnancy and might change after delivery. So we are waiting until six weeks post baby to repeat the pap and then I might need a cervical biopsy. I did have two early abnormal Pap tests when I was in my early 20's. (But all normal since that time.) This shouldn't affect the baby according to the doctors office. But I could use your prayers because as normal as I am I always fear the worst and it takes me a little extra time to be able to hand it all over to him and let it go.

The nurse also asked if I knew what it meant to "take it easy". And she encouraged me to drink plenty of water and take plenty of quiet time for myself without distractions. She said that certainly spotting can be made worse by "over doing" it. For now I am trying my best to keep my head above water... but next week.... taking it easy is definitely in the plans to become NORMAL around here!!

The Cousins

The cousins are leaving very soon.

Tomorrow we have one big blowout of fun.

We have had so much fun getting to know

them better. Its been hard keeping up through

all the miles that were between us.

(above is Bridget- age 4)

(Cassady- age 4- Twin of Bridget)

We have gone to the beach.

The Lake.

Pottery Painting.

Tea parties.

Sleepovers.

Watching Madeline.

Cookouts.

Ocean.

Fireworks.

Mountains.

Swimming.

Hot tubs.

Too much Pizza and ice cream.

Playing games.

Running around wild.

Just plain fun.

(Maggie 6)

Our cousins are moving from Ohio

to Northern California when they get home.

We are excited about all the possibilities

that it will bring for us all to only be a

one day drive away from each other.

(Keller age 7)

We will miss you all SO much.

xoxoxoxoxo

Peanut Update and More

No more spotting since Sunday morning! Your prayers worked fast! Thank you!!
I am feeling pretty good but my husband went out of town today for the rest of the week. The good news is that we are thrilled he is back to work, but it is a bummer for him to be out of town. Although... I do like having the house a bit quieter than it was. (He is like a big kid sometimes and it can be irritating especially when I am hormonal.) lol

My Mom and other family are here for another week- then four of our children go to visit them for a month. Grace and Sophie are going for a week at church camp and things around here are going to be super quiet. I will miss them all- but again- looking forward to just being able to hang out with the little kids and do some fun summer things. :)

My Mom has big plans for David, Cole, Dominick and Lulu while they are there. Lulu and Dom will be going for a week of camp with the cousins and David/Cole are going to be having a garage sale and they get to keep the money- so they are pretty thrilled about that. And all of them are of course excited about seeing the other cousins, aunt/uncles and their Grandpa too.

We are expecting record high temperatures here in the Pac. NW for the next few days. I have my window a/c on high and the kids are expecting to be able to actually open the slip/slide box and use the swimming pool this week. WHOOHOOOO!!!! Summer is finally here!

Have a blessed day.
Thanks again for the prayers and love.
xoxoxox

Prayers for Peanut

I have been having some spotting since the PAP test on Thursday (on and off). I thought that it was done yesterday but happened again this morning but brighter in color- (TMI sorry.)
I called the on call doctor and he said watch if it gets heavier or if there is cramping. Can you please keep Peanut and I in your prayers just in case. We have a big function out of the area (on an island) today and it would be tragic to get to the hospital with the ferry wait (and it running on Holiday schedule). Just pray. Not much we can do either way- but I am hoping this is "normal"? (although its not happened in the past post PAP test??)
Happy Fourth of July all.
love,
S.

Deep Joy

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts.

Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts.

Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me...

Anything can happen, child. Anything can be."
Shel Silverstein

Peanuts 9 week update

(another 9 week old peanut)

Today I had my big doctors appointment. I had my "womanly exam" and they took all my relevant history. It was hard to try to sort out what is what and who is whom with regard to the history of birth defects in my family. (Spina Bifida and Neural tube defects are such a part of my life but not my biological life so I had to keep my brain in order which is tough some days!)
My blood pressure was a little higher than normal likely because I was all nervous about having our family doctor... aka: mine and my children's doctor taking a peek at my lady bits. I was embarrassed and hadn't had a male see them other than my husband since I had Grace and there was a male intern in the room at the last minutes of her delivery. It just felt weird. I am sure that you get it.
So things look normal... good... OK.
But this meant that I don't get an ultrasound until 20 weeks.
I know. That's not what I was told before. I think that they were holding me off. They know I tend to be a bit pushy, demanding and wanting things my way. I asked about the Doppler heart beat and they said that at 13 weeks- the next appointment we should be able to hear it. They said with the equipment that they have and my tilted uterus- it would be virtually impossible to hear right now and so they just wanted me to calm down and wait.
I tried to convince them otherwise but even in my most intimate of position and weak moment they didn't go for it. They said 20 weeks it is. So that means I have 11 more weeks to see peanuts heart beat... but four more weeks to hear it on Doppler in the doctors office. I can do this. I think God wants me to learn a little more patience.
I asked if there was something wrong with the baby- and there was no heart beat- then I would want to know NOW and not wait for the inevitable. They explained that there was nothing they could do anyhow and nature would take its course- so unless I am having some kind of drastic symptom that needs immediate attention I won't be getting this ultrasound until 20 weeks.
I nearly cried. I don't know if that was hormonal or just pure frustration since I wanted so badly for the ultrasound to be next week so we could just have that confirmation of the heart beat and the chance of miscarriage then goes WAY down.
Alas- I turn it over to God. Wait patiently. And Praise God for no drastic terrible symptoms that raise red flags.
Thanks for praying for us all- especially for dear Peanut who is becoming a reality in my mind that was a bit stuck in denial I think!