A Cupcake Update

Weekend happenings:

JUDE

Jude Bear is feeling about 50% better.

Breathing treatments continue every four hours.

His mood is on and off.

Still worried about the shunt and wondering

if we will make it two weeks.

Thanks for your prayers.

MAT:

We are raising funds for travel for two children

from Haiti. Please see the MAT blog for more info

and consider how you might be able to help.

http://www.medicaladvocacyteam.blogspot.com/

Because we have several volunteers hosting children

right now. Another traveling, volunteering and trying to

get work done in two countries new to MAT. And

our co-director hopefully bringing home her first child

if she is able to get his Visa tomorrow where she is at

in Africa. We are seriously under staffed.

If you have a few hours a week you can spend

making calls, answering emails, or advocating for

children with unmet medical needs- please let us know!

You can live anywhere and volunteer- you just need

to have a phone and a computer.

Haiti Donations:

Still awaiting word on the shipments to Haiti

from all of your awesome blessings and donations.

Not only was money raised but we had a good

deal of supply donations. As soon as I have word on this

I will update the blog. I just don't feel I can do that

until I get confirmation that the things have arrived.

We bought a lot of baby formula! :)

Thank you!

Famine:

Four of our children participated in a 30 hour famine

from Friday to Saturday with our church. They raised

over $2000 for Haiti. How wonderful is that? The money

will go through World Vision to provide food for many in Haiti.

Sophie, Grace, Cole and David all did a wonderful job not

eating... and they were so cute when we picked them up.

They begged for Taco Bell- which we rarely ever have- EVER.

So we stopped and spent $50 to bring home food to feed

everyone. That's a lot of re fried beans!

Sophie showed me her list that she made with her friends

during the famine. It was a huge list of all the things that

she was thinking about eating. It was quite elaborate and

interesting to see all the things she was thinking about:

mandarin oranges, tuna fish, bananas, french fries....

They all really seemed to "get it" and I am super proud of them.

Sleep:
We had a huge blessing yesterday.

Last night a King Sized bed was delivered to us.

I had mentioned on face book how tight the squeeze

was in our old Queen bed with our:

"One little, two little, three little Haitians"

and how we needed a BIGGER bed.

A friend of the family happened to have a new bed

from their store that they wanted to give

and they emailed to say- we have a bed for you!

We didn't believe it at first.

This is the FIRST time in our marriage that we

have a NEW bed. Yes- we have always had used mattresses.

The last set was bought when we moved to the Pac. NW.

years ago at a place that sells hotel furniture.

Little febreeze and lysol and a good mattress cover we

were in business... then shortly later added a memory

foam topper because we could feel the springs but didn't

want to spent the money to buy a new bed.
(There are always other needs.)

So last night we slept in our new bed.

Thank you for this wonderful blessing.
It was so comfortable and there was so much room.

OK so I admit that initially I was in bed with:

Dominick, Lulu, Bean, Isaac, Joy, and Lauren.

While my husband fell asleep on the couch with Jude.

But I did wake him up at midnight when the Lassie movie

was over and he was able to come to bed with me. :)

I am like a new woman today.

I hope that you are all having a wonderful Sunday.

And that you have enjoyed checking out the birthday

cupcakes... made by myself, Lauren and dear friend Debbie.

Many blessings!!

Pray for Jude- UPDATED

There are many wonderful blog posts that

are swirling around in my head.

Posts about adventures and new experiences.

Stories about struggles new and old.

Birthday party pictures to share...

and so much more to tell you.

But for now I need to pause- and

ask for your prayers for Baby Jude Bear.

He has been sick all week.

(Several of the children have been.)

And he not only has a tooth coming in

but a cold and an ear infection.

His breathing has been terrible requiring

round the clock breathing treatments every

one to two hours. And he is miserable.

Because of his breathing being so terrible...

taking his antibiotic FOUR times a day

for his ear infection has been difficult.

And this morning he aspirated on the medicine.

And has been "recovering" from the assault

to his lungs ever since. And to top it all off-

yesterday we had some bad news.

Jude had appointments the past two days in Seattle.

We found out that they don't think his shunt is working.

Well they think its working- but maybe just not

working as well as it should. Part of his ventricles look OK

and the others are FULL. He goes in soon for another CT scan.

Then they will decide what to do...

but probably another surgery.

Either a new shunt- or a 2nd catheter in this shunt.

We are thankful that he has access to

good medical care here. We value

your thoughts and prayers.

Updates soon.

Back to loving on Jude.

UPDATE:

Jude also has a UTI.

They took urine yesterday to rule one out...

and sure enough- its growing stuff.

He went to the PCP today and got a big shot

of antibiotics and will go for another tomorrow.

This should help- but it might not be the right

meds that will cover the UTI- that takes another 24

hours until it comes back.

The PCP (who we love and adore) also got a chest x-ray

sure enough- they just called and he has some bronchitis on top

of everything else. Poor Baby Bear! :(

We are going to be diligent round the clock

and pray Bear doesn't get hospitalized.

More soon....

Praise God!

They should be on the way to the USA soon!
Please visit this link to see the good news video of the orphans from COTP released to the caregivers in Haiti and able to leave today. A HUGE misunderstanding that was very scary indeed.
Praise God!

URGENT Prayers needed!

Six children from Isaac and Angeline's orphanage have been taken by UNICEF. The escorts and adoptive parents who were with them were accused of child trafficking. Please visit this blog and read the past few posts so you understand what is going on:

http://www.childrenofthepromise.blogspot.com

None of the adults involved are being held or charged with any crimes. These children had all the paperwork that they needed in order to be able to leave to come to the USA to be with the adoptive parents. They even had approval from the PM of Haiti as they are required to have in order to leave. This entire situation is absurd and alarming... the children are without basic needs being met and at the very least they should allow the children to return to the orphanage that has water, food, baby bottles, medication etc. One of the babies is now sick. They need your prayers.

CNN will be covering the story at 10pm EST. Please tune in and keep praying!!

This could have been my son... and this is his friends... we are just heartbroken for these children who have already lived through so much in their short lives!!

It's really me

I think after spending the past 24 hours feeling really sad for my child... I now realize- it's been all about me. I was the one feeling sad and I am the one still feeling sad and I desperately need to get over it and let it go.
You see- my children don't know the difference of who comes to the party and who doesn't. And after my one hour therapy session on the phone with my mother- I realize that I don't truly care about that either.
It's all the "other stuff" going on that provided the "cake" for this emotional breakdown- and it has nothing to do with the party that provided its "icing".

I feel awesome that my son is home and I feel this overwhelming excitement when I see Angeline and Isaac together. It's a huge happy feeling and a giant sigh of relief. Ahhh! Bliss!

And I admit openly and honestly that thinking about Haiti is emotionally overwhelming. The reality has set in and we have a sweet little girl here in our state with the Medical Advocacy Team who goes home to Haiti tomorrow. She is here with her Aunt and thinking about them going "home" tomorrow to a place far different than they left makes me sob. Each time I let my mind and heart go there- I am a flood of emotions. You see because they had the option to STAY HERE. They had the option to stay here for a long time, possibly even forever. They had an entire community offering to help them to get settled and on their own feet here. And they decided that they wouldn't take the offer. They chose Haiti. They chose HOME. It meant more to them then an almost guaranteed future to prosper. And that is why I cry for Haiti. I never thought that they would leave. I don't even begin to understand the commitment that they have to their crumbled country and its people. It humbles me immensely.

Then adding to the "cake" is sweet Joy. Her story, her life, her young age and her heartbreak... I know that her 4th "Mom and Dad" made the best choice for her. I know that she is meant to be here in our family. I know that she will someday understand how she truly came to be "our daughter"- but for now... I cry for her. I am sad that she had such a tough life and I am sad that she was left here. Not because I don't want her, or not because I don't think it was best, but because I want her to be wanted SO MUCH that no one would ever leave her anywhere ever.

And the sugar in the "cake"- my husband. He can make me wicked flippin annoyed. He my best friend in the world and I think that is why he has the power to make me so happy or so irritated. The past two days- he has been extra special annoying. I don't know what it is- probably because I have been emotionally spent!

So then I feel bad that I am feeling annoyed. I feel badly about it especially when I see how much he loves our children. Especially when I see his love for Joy growing each day. You see Joy is my ex-boyfriends biological child. I am sure that many of you assumed that she was the sibling of one of our children who came to us via adoption. She is the sibling of my biological child. If you know our story- you will know that my husband and I were both single parents before we met. I had one child and he had four. My child was a baby when I met my husband... he raised and loved my child like his own. And he committed to doing that for Joy even before I did.

He is my better man.

I adore him and love him. Especially for his ability to look at all of our children as God's child and love them for who they are- not where they came from or what baggage they carry around with them. It doesn't affect him... and it didn't affect him even before I knew him. He was already raising four children on his own- one of which he knew wasn't his biologically... the child was from an affair his wife had. He's just "dad" and doesn't care about the other stuff.

(I know this is getting really "Jerry Springer" on you isn't it?)

Ok let's add a good helping of vanilla into the cake. My brother in law's Mom passed this week and my sister (his wife)- has to put to sleep her daughter's pony today. So my dear niece whom I adore has to lose her pony today- her pony Cinderella. Both of these very sad episodes in the lives of my sister and her family- who I love. I am sorry for your very long very emotional week you guys. And I am even more sad that I haven't been able to be there for you all because I have been wrapped up tightly in my life. And knowing T. that your Mom passed makes me miss my family back East so much. I miss you all!

So while I wanted to blame it on the party guests who aren't going to be attending... due to illness, lack of motivation, embarrassment over swimsuit wearing, busy lives, lost invites etc. It wasn't about them at all- it was really about me- and what I have been going through.

We are going to have an awesome time tonight at the party with or without you. :)

And about Baby Jude Bear... he is here to stay. Forever.

We still are praying for his parents who we haven't heard from... and for Lena, and for Helande and for all the other MAT children who are "missing".... but we are grateful Baby Jude is here with us and will remain that way forever. The youngest member of our novel. The final chapter of our story...

(and no Mom- that wasn't a promise- that's just the feeling we have right now- that we believe to be true- but really- its not in our hands- we are in HIS hands... love you Nana

Happy Saturday.

Bye bye.

RSVP

Birthdays are a really big deal when you are four. Birthdays have been a really big deal to Angeline since last year. She had a fabulous birthday party in Texas when we were there with Baby Bear last year and she hasn't stopped talking about her birthday since that time. Our dear friends there and the people at the hospital took time out of their busy days to make sure to give Angeline a very special day. They made a super big deal out of her big day and for that we are forever grateful.
Since Angeline had her tonsils out just days before her fourth birthday this month- we decided that we would postpone her birthday party until later in the month.
We also had Sophie's birthday back in January. It happened to fall on January 12th. The same day as the earthquake in Haiti. Sophie had presents, cake and chose her special dinner out with Mom and Dad- but she didn't really get the kind of birthday I wanted her to have. We had been wrapped up in getting Isaac home, Joy's arrival and just dealing with earthquake/Haiti matters became the central focus of life as it should be in a family where Haiti is a central focus anyhow!
We also have Dominick's birthday in a couple weeks.... so we decided that we would have a TRIPLE HUGE birthday bash. So tomorrow we are having a major good time. We rented the pool. That's right- we rented the whole pool.... actually we rented the whole aquatic center. We figure that you only live once and we wanted for each of the three children to be able to invite their friends from school and make it a big time.
For Angeline- we invited the friends from her developmental preschool, their Moms and Dads- and families would be fine- and the teachers. Anyone under the age of six needs to be with an adult in the pool for safety reasons. We took our time deciding on the birthday party location knowing that it wasn't really the first choice of many adults to "swim" with their children. You have the whole getting into a swimsuit thing, and then running around after your preschooler, and also the entire class of preschool children have some kind of special need- so would that make it difficult for parents and children?
The conclusion that we came to is that swimming is something that most everyone can enjoy. It doesn't matter what kind of special need the child has- they can all enjoy the pool. The aquatic center has three swimming pools. One is zero depth entry- meaning that Angeline can use her walker to get right into it. And it has a water slide on the other side of it. Then there is a massive pool, and then a deep water diving pool with a diving board- then a BIG hot tub. Something for everyone right?

OK so how come we have only had two preschool families RSVP?
Maybe I had sent out the invitations too early?
Perhaps it wasn't clear on the invite to RSVP?
I contacted the teacher and asked if it would be OK to make up reminders to send home with each of the children. She said yes- so I did that yesterday.... and still.... no one called.

Angeline also invited her teachers. I knew it was a long shot getting any of them to attend. If they had to attend all the childrens birthday parties that they have in two preschool classes (morning and afternoon) that would take up much of thier lives. But Angeline had a melt down earlier this year and didn't want to go to school. When I asked her how she was feeling and why she didn't want to go to school she said shaking her finger and bobbing her head:
"Because Teacher G. said I am not coming to your birthday party Angeline! So I don't want to go to school because my teachers won't come to my party Mom."

I talked to Teacher G. about this that day. I knew that she hadn't told Angeline that. I knew that Angeline had made it up. But I also knew that Angeline was having some anxiety about school and I knew that she was really looking forward to her birthday that was months away.

So tomorrow when the big birthday happens will she notice that most of her friends and teachers aren't there? Of course she will. Will it matter? Probably. Does that break my heart? Terribly.

I just don't get it. :(

Going Global

February 7th from cornwallchurch on Vimeo.

I realize that this is a little long and I might be asking a lot for you to take 40 minutes to watch this- but please- if you have the time soon- please do so.
The impact that YOU can make on the world is GREAT indeed. My Pastor did this awesome sermon that I just had to share with you.
So turn the music off on the blog on the right- and enjoy... prepare to be moved!
Blessings,
sarah

Keeping Joy

Joy is here to stay.

In case you missed it... Joy is a bio sibling to one of our children...

This sweet little girl has had a long life at the age of five and could use your prayers. She fits in very well and is having a lot of fun here at our house but the goodbyes this weekend were unimaginably difficult for us all. This is a time of continued transition with two new children in our home. But we welcome Joy with open arms and hope that she feels FAMILY and HOME being here with us.

Joy hasn't really had the chance to just BE. So she will be home schooled and this will be another big chance for her going from one side of the country to this one, going from small family to big family, going from school and daycare to home school and full time family.

We hope that while Joy understands that this choice was made for her by many adults who love her and want what is best for her. We pray that she feels an extension of the love and support that she has in her life. We pray that her former family finds peace in their lives and that the siblings she left behind are able to keep in contact with her and remain close as they grow into adulthood.

Wow- huh? 15 children. I guess I need to change the blog header someday. But first I need to finish getting ready- because we have a VERY special important visitor coming tomorrow morning! (more soon- don't worry!)

Feeling tired, fulfilled, immensely blessed, and excited for the days ahead. I am continued to be in awe of the power of love, the strength of Joys former "mom" and the blessing that God has entrusted us with.

La-la-la long emotional weekend ahead!

We just sorted through months of paperwork

and two files that needed to be re-organized.

These three little cherubs...

(isaac, "joy" and angeline)

have been very patient all day.

And for that alone- I am so thankful.

Last night we spent time with our church family.

In a time of extended worship and praise.

And walked away a bubbling ball of tears.

Over the realities of the past month of our lives.

There have been really low lows

(earthquakes)

and super high highs

(Isaac's homecoming)

and struggles

(Angeline's health)

And so I guess in a way- it was high time...

for the emotions.

They are officially here.

Decisions have been made.

How are we supposed to help Joy?

We looked UP and not AROUND

for this toughest of family decisions.

Talks need to happen.

Prayers we welcome with open arms.

For the tears that lie ahead.

Isaac sings a THANK YOU

Isaac sings a personal thank you to his Aunt, Uncle and cousins for the lovely package they sent. He is singing "Me love my family" from Yo Gabba Gabba and doing his special dance in front of the sign the cousins made for him. Blessings and Thanks!! We love you cousins and we will see you this summer!

Helping Haiti Hand Charms

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=39571725

Check these out!

What I know now

Sorry for taking so long to give an update. Things have been busy. A very fulfilling wonderful kind of busy. Remarkable moments have taken place and I have peace in my heart about the sibling. SHE is still here visiting and we aren't sure if she will stay or go. We do know that God has a big plan for her and that we will know by the end of the week what that plan is. But in the meantime life has been really fun the past few days. There have been many emotional moments for us all but emotional in a good way. The kind of way that means progress and healing for one sweet little girl and the many people who love her.

Sophie has been doing much better. Thanks for praying. She spent the weekend at my most helpful wonderful sisters home. My dear brother in law took her bike riding and hiking and she was able to expend tons of energy and have a good break away from us all. She seems really at peace too about life. Just as it should be.

Isaac has been doing so well. I am seriously waiting and expecting the roof to cave in or something but for now... he is just amazing. He is so mellow and easy to get along with. In moments that he is having a hard time he is super easy to redirect. The biggest challenge has been bedtime. He likes to be where the most people are to sleep and since everyone here goes to bed at different times its sometimes hard to find a room with a lot of people in it... except the living room. He has his favorite blanket and pillow and has a way that is "just so" to arrange things on the couch. Each day without being asked now he says "quiet time" and lays down for a short nap. Easy. Ridiculously easy. Should I be afraid of something major to happen? He even helps clean up and sings the barney song. Singing is actually his favorite thing to do- aside from drinking chocolate milk. He prefers a Dora sippie cup to all others and reminds you when you put his milk in the wrong one. He also likes to sit and snuggle and watch TV. Yo gabba gabba "family" is his favorite show.

In other news...
I got an email earlier about a sweet baby girl in Ethiopia who needs a family. She has Spina Bifida and the organization who is helping her is raising funds for her surgery. If you feel led to help her by providing a home for her or by donating to her surgery- please email me and I can forward you the email about her.

Keep those prayers coming!

Anxiety

 This is going to be a somewhat random bullet post that is borderline evasive. Sorry.

• Anxiety is totally running the show here at my house the past 24 hours. Our child with RAD had been having what we believe to be a "breakthrough" but in order to get through this she is really testing all of us and our sense of keeping control of our emotions. She is all over the place and her rough times mean rough times for the whole family. She had been coasting for weeks so she is having a time out at my sisters this weekend where she can just relax and play with her cousins and not have to deal with the emotional stuff for a moment. She will be having a visit to the psychiatrist this afternoon and we are prayerful that she is able to dig deep and share her emotions and not shut everyone out and remain in turmoil.
• I am having a great deal of anxiety about our visitors tomorrow. I am so excited to see them but at the same time the situation with the little girl is really a tough one. She has been through so much and so has her "mom" and I don't want to make things worse for them. I want to know how we are to help and the best thing to do for them. Its just awkward and its painful and will certainly continue to stir up lots of raw emotions from us all. I can't share much more than she is a little girl and she is the half sibling of one of our children. If I could share the whole story with you all at this point- your eyes would pop out at the whole thing... I just want everything to go well and everyone to feel that they can be completely open with their feelings and I want peace in my heart to know what is the best thing for everyone. Praying!
• Please pray for my friend Salem and her adoption and the adoptions of other close friends who are adopting children from Uganda. Things are up in the air and that is really hard for everyone- especially for Salem who is there right now with her son and husband- she had just passed court when things changed.
• Angeline returned to school today and that makes me anxious for her. She still isn't eating or drinking much but we are hoping that by getting her back into her normal routine she will start feeling better.
• Grace finds out today if she is going to make the volleyball team. There were so many girls trying out that they are having to make major cuts. She wants it so bad and has been working so hard!
• Cole started wrestling this week. Anyone who knows Cole personally probably is having to pick their jaw up off the floor at this moment. He is such a gentle soul and I can't visualize how he could have pent up aggression enough to be a successful wrestler. He had some "matches" yesterday- I hope that was the right term to use- and he won three out of six. Not too shabby. I am super proud of him for trying new things and being confident! Go Cole! But then he told me that he had to wrestle a girl... I am all for girls doing wrestling or whatever they want to do- but I think he was feeling embarrassed about it and shy. He had crushes on girls in junior high- he doesn't want to be rolling around on the floor pinning them to the group with other people watching!
• One of my older children is in a complete dead end relationship with someone who is taking complete advantage of them. I pray that they find the gumption to walk away and move on! Its making me batty watching the events unfold month to month.
• We still haven't heard from any of the MAT children in Haiti or their families except for Clepsons. This includes baby Jude Bear's parents. I know that you want to know what is happening with him- but I can't go there YET. Soon... soon it will be more timely to share all! Its like carrying a ton of bricks around wondering if all of these people I love are ok or not. They are beautiful strong children with loving families who I don't want to see anything bad happen to ever!
• Going to work out, doctors appointment, grocery store, and home to clean off the remainder of my anxiety... I will update when I can on all of the above and just keep on praying! We feel the love! :)

Angeline's 4th Birthday!

Yesterday was Angeline's fourth birthday.
She has been talking about this birthday for the past year.
Last year she spent her birthday in Texas where we were with Baby Bear.
Angeline was so happy to have so many nice friends in Texas to have a birthday with her. Since it was such a hit last year- she was obsessed with her birthday this year. She couldn't wait for it to arrive.

I knew that it was going to be hard to have her birthday right after she had surgery and I was just hoping that she would be healed enough to be able to at least eat some ice cream. She tried really hard to be able to eat something but it was too painful. It just broke my heart that she wasn't feeling 100% for her birthday. And honestly I am shocked that she is taking so long to recover from this surgery. Normally she bounces right back. Yesterday afternoon we were debating taking her to the ER for dehydration- we just keep dribbling and pushing fluids but she is still not drinking nearly what she needs to be. We had a very low key day and didn't worry about fixing hair or anything. You can see from the pictures that she is very out of it.

Angeline was adorable making her wish and blowing out her candles. She blew them out one at a time. One, two, three, four and then cheered wildly for herself and her candle blowing skills.

We are planning a big birthday party for later this month for three of the children. Its going to be super fun and I know that Angeline will be feeling much better by then. Her voice sounds much different than it did before and we are really hoping that its just a temporary thing and because she is still so sore.

I only wish that she would have been able to enjoy the cake and ice cream as much as Baby Bear- who we call Jude now. (Although Jude-Bear and Baby Bear seem to be sticking!) At one point he put his entire plate up to his face and smeared it all over. I bet he was freezing but he was SO happy. :) Isaac ate every bite too of course.

Happy 4th Birthday Sweet Beanie. We love you.