Wow- its been a long day.
When we arrived after Angeline being
NPO since last night and then a 2 hour drive at the worst time through Seattle traffic... we learned that they might NOT have a
PICU bed available for Angeline. We decided to wait and see for a bit- and lo and behold something opened up. More like they shuffled some babies over to
NICU to make room for her. We were grateful as getting geared up for this all over again emotionally seemed abusive. They also mentioned that this happens once a year to someone... you know showing up for surgery and then it getting changed after you drive all the way here. I reminded them that it happened to us before- so maybe once a year was a bit of an understatement. Or else we just have really bad luck.
They took us back to the little
pre surgery room where we got Angeline changed into her gown and socks. She was already hysterical and very upset... I would guess hungry and thirsty too- but she managed. We had the most fantastic
anesthesiologist who LOVES panda's and had panda stickers on her stethoscope. She was able to help get Angeline calm by talking about the pandas and she blew me away with her child friendly skills. We have noticed in the past that sometimes the anesthesia folks have a bit of an attitude at certain places (not mentioning any names). But this gal was great! She let me wear a gown and go back to the OR with Angeline. I sat in a chair with her and
hse put the Panda Cam at the San Diego Zoo on the computer for Angeline and I to watch while she went worked on getting her off into sleepy time for surgery. Angeline's eyes rolled back not too much later and I laid her on the operating table saying a little prayer over her. I felt great and I knew she was in very capable hands. And nice hands too! What a bonus!
Lauren and I were shuffled to a "doctor patient conference room" and we were told it would be about 20
mins and the doctor would be out to tell us how she did. So after a half hour went by and hear the CODE come over the loud speaker I felt sick to my stomach and started pacing. I couldn't remember for the life of me what O.R. number she was in. They were really concerned about her airway, breathing and swelling. Finally after about 20 more minutes the doctor came in and told me that everything went really well. That the child near Angeline had an emergency that he had to attend to but that Angeline was doing
ok. He showed us where to head towards to get the
PICU pager and then we could go get a bite to eat or walk around and they would page us once she was out of
PACU *post surgery* and into her
PICU room.
The
PICU desk was a buzz and everyone just rushed around while Lauren and I waited for a pager. They were very apologetic telling us that they had been slammed busy and that a child just "coded" and that things were bad with someone in the O.R. etc. Lauren and I just stood there dazed and patiently waited for them to assign us a pager so we knew when to return and how to check on Angeline. Finally we had the pager and we headed out to the cafeteria for some yummy salad bar. :)
We figured we had about a half hour before they would have Angeline in her room. We ate and cleaned up the table. Then we headed back down to the
PICU desk because we hadn't been paged and we were starting to get worried. There was a girl standing at the desk and she said "Are you Angeline's family??" We let her know that we were and she said "didn't anyone tell you how to use your pager???" We told her yes... that we waited and it never went off. She had tried to call us three times and we were needed back in
PACU where Angeline was awake and hysterical.
They said Lauren couldn't come back and so I rushed with the lady back to Angeline. The nurse caring for her was sitting near her but Angeline was sobbing laying there with her eyes swollen shut. I asked how much fluid they had given her in surgery seeing how swollen her face was and she said.... "None." Wow...really? She said "She has been crying so much it made it eyes swell."
Hmpf. That's odd. I have seen her throw a big
doozy and cry like the dickens and never have her eyes swollen shut especially after being
NPO for over 12 hours and not getting any IV fluids. Weird. (I did not say
doozy or dickens to her- I just kept my thoughts to myself.) The nurse was very nice but her English maybe not the best. She told me that the
PICU was too busy and it would be hours before we had a room. She said that Angeline had three doses of Morphine already and that she couldn't give her more in the
PACU. I think I had a really long conversation with the
anesthesia folks about the pain
meds and how they tend to possibly make Angeline upset and giving her more would then make her more upset even if you suspect that she is crying from pain... she was crying because she was scared and couldn't open her eyes!
I asked about giving Angeline some apple juice and she said: "Oh no, not until she gets to the
PICU- that's too dangerous here with her breathing problems." I thought that she had sleep apnea and wasn't aware of other breathing problems but by this time Angeline was calm and resting in my arms, dozing in and out of her pain med induced comfort zone... so I let it go. About an hour later I grew restless and asked her to get on the ball with seeing about the
PICU room as it was time for Angeline to "go potty"- which requires a catheter and process and would be much easier to do in a room and not in the open
PACU. She told me just to wait and that since Angeline had been
NPO and didn't have any IV fluid that she would be
OK waiting to "go potty".
So finally it was time to go to the
PICU. The nurse asked if it would be
OK if "Mom who was keeping Angeline calm and keeping her vitals at normal levels" could come to the
PICU to do the "hand off". I felt a little weird that someone had to ask this. I don't know what normal protocol is but it just seemed strange that I couldn't be with my child when I wanted... where I wanted. So I help
maneuver the bed through the halls and to the
PICU.
The hand off involves a lot of paperwork, questions, reviewing things, nurses, doctors, residents etc. The hand off nurse mentioned something about Angeline's "chronic lung infections" and I had to chime in and mention that was misinformation and I wasn't sure where that was coming from. That she had had pneumonia as an infant coming out of Haiti but that she was septic and had bacterial meningitis so it was par for the course the infection at that time. But that since then she hadn't had any issues. The hand off nurse told me... "well its in your chart".
OK... whatever. Let it go type A Momma...
Now I was really missing home and sad that Angeline was still so upset... and the hand off nurse mentions something to the crowd of people hearing the report from surgery and
Angeline's vast medical history... and she mentions about the "three tries that it took to get her in
tubated." No one ever mentioned this to me before so I had to ask what happened and why they had such a hard time. Then she said "she kept sitting up when they stuck the tube in her mouth." I don't know much about anesthesia but I do know that you shouldn't be sitting up when you are
intubated unless you aren't getting enough of the anesthesia. What a scary experience for Angeline- now my heart is just breaking!
So I must ask about this and what happened. I stop everyone from carrying on and ask what they are talking about. What do you mean that she sat up when she was being
intubated? No one mentioned anything about this to me at all. The nurse and resident tell me that its because its really just an anesthesia report and it doesn't really matter to the parent. Then I let them know that it DOES matter to me and that I would like to know what happened in the O.R. after I left and before the surgeon was there. I would like to know why she was sitting up and what problems she had. I explained that I am always asked before surgery by everyone what kind of issues she had previously with
anesthesia and I would like to know so I am informed. Then they do it- then they make the biggest mistake someone can make when talking to a parent about
their child... they tell me... "This is medical talk- doctor stuff- and it doesn't really have anything to do with what you need to know. It isn't really something parents need to know."
My head spun around
like Reagan in the exorcist.I said "Despite what you might be thinking about me, I am not stupid. I would like to be completely informed about everything that occurs to my child when I am not in the room. Especially if she had a complication with something. That is my right and how dare you talk to me that way." And then I cried. Big tears. Angeline was upset, these nurses and the resident were not getting the answers and communicating well with one another. No one really knew anything about if she had fluid. How much morphine she had. (Later I find out the
PACU nurse gave her three HALF doses because she wasn't sure that giving the full dose was
ok since she had a bad reaction to it before. So basically she changed the dosing without permission from anyone.) Unreal- seriously unreal.
At this point I was missing the people in Texas. They tell you everything and then some! And no one would ever make anyone feel as if they shouldn't ask or didn't have a right to know.
So here we are now.... things are better hours later. I do believe that everyone realized that it was not okay what happened and I think that it set the bar to a place where it should have been from the moment we walked in here. They are busy, they are stressed, I realize this but there was no way that things should have happened the way that they did. Angeline has finally taken some
tylenol after spitting for the past three hours and refusing to swallow at all. She is watching TV and ate some ice cream. She is by far the most miserable I have ever seen her after a surgery and she doesn't want anyone to touch her but Mom or Lauren. She is the bravest girl that I know and I can't even imagine how bad her throat hurts. She is sitting in the big crib with her dog "Mimi" that her aunt Nina brought her last night. She has enjoyed showing it to everyone and Mimi even got a collar when we got admitted- a collar just like Angeline's arm bracelet.
Bekki came to visit and brought some special things and we are so thankful that we had a mini break from the drama. The
PICU is a sad place and being in here reminds me of when Angeline spent her first months in America in the
PICU in Ohio. The
roommate that we have is from another state and is here alone- and he is just a few months old. That makes me even more depressed and I don't even know the whole story. We all can't wait to get home tomorrow-
we miss you guys tons! As long as things go well tonight we should be able to leave in the morning. :)goodnight...