Bean Update

A note about this adorable picture: This is Bean and Jesula/Jesi together visiting in Ohio when we were there. Heather, Jesi's Mom would like a disclaimer regarding Jesi's Hair-do. Daddy did her hair and he likes the big bows. :) Aren't they adorable together?
Heather is on her way home from Africa right now with their new little boy. Please keep them in your prayers for a safe homecoming. :)
Thanks.

Yesterday we spent most of the day at Children's with Bean. My sister was kind enough to take off work and take us. (Along with Grace and Cole.) We weren't sure if we were going to be gone overnight or if we would be able to come home yesterday. We did make it home.
Basically here is the situation:
Bean's MRI showed that her shunt tubing is intact and her ventricles are small. (So they do believe that her shunt is working.) However there is an area of fluid in her cerebral horn that is full of fluid. This area is not communicating with the rest of the ventricles that are being drained by her shunt. Basically it is in it's own little pocket and closed off from the rest of the places. So they feel that she needs another shunt, not a different shunt, but an actual additional shunt to drain this area of fluid. They would likely tap the new shunt into the existing one.
This may or may not take place in two weeks. (More about that in a moment.)
Her spine if filled with fluid. This is called a Syrinx (I hope that I spelled that right.) This is likely due to her Chiari's and might be because of the fluid in her cerebral horn. Doing the additional shunt might relieve enough of the pressure and "tightness" in her brain that it might help resolve the syrinx.
If not, then they will definitely do a decompression surgery. They would remove part of her skull as well as some of her higher vertebrae. It would hopefully help to give enough space for the chairi and fluid/brain etc. so that it would stop causing the fluid to pool on her spine and relieve the syrinx. For those medical buffs out there, they would not open up the dura at all. They said with children with SB, there can be too many anomalyies and that they don't typically open the dura and do a dura patch because it can get far too complicated and doing the skull and vertebrae is typically enough.
It was very scary being asked if she can still move her arms and hands. I know that the fluid on her spine could completely paralyze her. The brain decompression surgery would take place six weeks after the shunt surgery. (They will follow up with an MRI and then see if the decompression still needs to be done.) It's a pretty involved big deal, and I am praying faithfully that they won't need to do it!
So does she need her tonsils and adenoids out next week?
We still haven't gotten an answer. Ugh. I was thinking about Dr. A. and how if there was some kind of question ever about anything related to one of her "girls" she would whip out the cell phone and get people on the phone and get things resolved in a flash. While I really do like our NS team at Children's.... it's not quite as "personal" as the experience in working with Dr. A. I asked our NS if he could talk to the ENT and figure out if she needs the sugery next week. (There are several issues: If she has the ENT surgery next week, she WILL NOT be able to get the shunt surgery the following week for risk of infection.) SO what is best to do? Well they said: "It's basically up to you."
Um... I don't think so.
I didn't go to school for however many years it takes to make decisions like this. I feel unprepared and not informed enough to make this kind of choice. So I asked the NS to talk to the ENT. He said to get the ENT to call him and he would be happy to talk to him.
Ok.
So I march 20 feet over to the next door (Otolarynology/ENT) and ask to talk to someone about what is going on. The doctor isn't in and they tell me it would be best to get the the NS to contact the ENT. (Is this middle school? "If you like me, check yes or no on this note!" hello people, you work 20 feet from one another, how hard would it be to connect and communicate?)
So then I go back to NS, and let them know that they need to tell the NS to email the ENT to see if they can get some answers and get them talking. The nurse rolls her eyes, like I am asking for her to get the NS to move mountains. I realize that my little baby might not be your top priority, but she is MINE. And if these two people can't communicate with one another, I WILL BE THE ONE up there cracking skulls!
So we decided that her "pre-op" anesthesia appointment that was this morning was really null and void considering we have no "real" plan at this very moment. The surgery is still scheduled for next week so prayerfully by tomorrow, we will have a "PLAN".

I am fairly sure that no one will tell me what is causing the sleep apnea. Even with a sleep study, they won't be able to tell me if it's her tonsils/adenoids or her chiari's/syrinx/hydrocephalus. However, it is likely BOTH things that are contributing towards the sleep apnea.
So, what is the appropriate plan here professionals?

Please continue to pray. I will update you all as soon as I have a plan.

On another note: My grandma (Dad's Mom) is back in the hospital again. Please send her some prayers too. :)

Sorry for so many requests.
Much Love and thanks,
Sarah

Hoping to adopt?

Check out these beautiful children at Beacon House in Ghana.

The children are absolutely beautiful, costs are low, timeline is MUCH faster than most countries. Another bonus is that they are a smaller orphanage and all live together as a family with school right there! The paperwork is easy to do and the requirements to adopt are reasonable. We have several local families who have adopted or are in the process to adopt children from Beacon House. Christian families only please!

The website will be updated as new children come in needing families. So bookmark it and check it often.

Home alone

(This was a picture for a customer last week. What a little sweetie! This is her special birthday fairy picture. The background was taken by my friend Valentina. She is an awesome photographer and I am very thankful that she let me use this beautiful picture of her's! Click on her name to view more of her work.)
Right now, I am home all alone. Just me and our dog Charlotte. It's so quiet, I can actually hear the "heat" on. LOL
Dh got snowed out of work today, and Lauren and David who normally have home school "school" classes today are also snowed out. Even the OT couldn't make it. While there is a lot of snow south of us, we didn't get much YET. So Bob took the kids to family swimming this afternoon leaving me home all alone. Heeheehee!
(Can you tell I am a little giddy?)

The house organizing went well. Cole was completely "into" it. Long after we got done on Saturday evening I started working on organizing the paperwork. Cole hovered over me and told me about his personal hygiene. He said that while he was at Nana's that she would check his nails and toenails to make sure that they were neatly clipped. He said he hasn't been as good about taking care of his personal hygiene needs the past few weeks. (He cracks me up.) He then showered, clipped, cut, brushed, mouthwashed, teeth whitened, lotioned, conditioned and cologned. He loves everything bath and body works. :)

So my house is about 75% of the way there. I love it. I feel better about life and able to tackle the week ahead. I even got Bean's birthday presents wrapped and ready for Friday.

Off to treadmill, yoga, shower with HOT water, shave my legs (crazy idea)... and read my book.
Have a great Monday.
Love,
Sarah

CLEAN

This weekend we are starting on some serious spring cleaning. The first thing that we started on last night was going through everyone's clothes. My children have an obscene amount of clothing. We are making boxes for the "county wide" garage sale of things that won't be worn again, bags for the Goodwill of things that are ruined or stained, and things we want to pass on to friends box, then we are putting most of the clothes into rubbermaid containers by size and gender. (Things that we will use later.) (We also have a small basket of "repair" items.)

For each of us we will keep out:

1 nicer outfit

7 "other" outfits

4 pajama's

10 under clothes

1 winter coat

1 rain coat

1 sweater

1 sweatshirt or fleece

1 zip up "hoodie"

2 swim trunks

10 pr. socks

(Summer shorts and tanks are put away during winter)

Last night I got through Dominick, David, Cole and Sophie. Cole by far was the biggest hoarder. He wears about a size 8-10 and he had clothes from size 5-12 in his closet. It was out of control. He had brand new things with the tags still on that he has out grown already! (He also had a pair of Sophie's pants, Lulu's pants and Danny's pants!) How does that happen? The kids and I were laughing so hard we were crying pulling out item after item of things that he has kept now for years! Enough is enough already Cole! :)

After the clothes are done, we will move on to toys and books until we have gotten rid of enough stuff to feel sane once again.

I guess it's a good theory that if there are things in life that you can't control, turn them over to God. But certainly it's worth spending the time and worry to control those things in life that you do have control over, like an organized, clean, clutter free home.

Off to wake up the troops! Have a beautiful weekend and thanks everyone for praying for Bean and Isaac.

Love,
Sarah

Are you there God?

Are you there God, it's me, Sarah.
I am in desperate need of a break in the bad news department Lord.
I have been on this roller coaster before and I think that I want to get off now please.
I always think that I can't take much more negativity in my life and I always manage to pull through some how, but this time, I think I just want things to go "right".
There just isn't enough ice cream to satisfy my hunger these days, and not enough blankets to cover my fetal position that I about to slump into.
I don't have the luxury of time these days to ponder over the happenings in life. I need to turn it all over to you now and know that you are going to take over this worry for me.
Just keep my children healthy, please.

Please pray for us.

I couldn't wait for the MRI results from yesterday. I was supposed to wait until Angeline's appointment this coming Wednesday with the NS to find out the game plan and exactly what is going on. Since I couldn't worry all weekend, I thought I would call the nurse practitioner for the NS this morning and talk to her and see if she could shed some light on the MRI's and the x-rays from yesterday.
The news I got was somehow worse than I expected. (Which I guess I was expecting the worse case scenario just because that is how I tend to think to better prepare myself.)
The news is that Bean's shunt tubing is intact, that is a good thing. She does have the Chiari malformation, which we knew. They did find the old scans from Ohio, or at least some of them are in the computer, but they are only ones from before Angeline's back was closed, so using them to compare to now, isn't that helpful. Angeline's ventricles appear to be smaller (than before her shunt, I sure would hope so), and there is one area that is larger than the others, but sometimes this happens. The bad news is that she has fluid throughout her spine.
What exactly does this mean?
I don't really know. She didn't explain a lot, she just said once we are in the office with the NS and we can look at the scans we will better understand. I emailed Dr. A and I know she will have a better explanation for me, but for right now I am going to try to go ahead and explain what is potentially happening. They made need to do some additional testing on her shunt to see if it needs to be replaced. The pressure from the Chiari malformation is causing the fluid from her brain to leak down her spine. (There isn't enough room for it in her brain?) I don't know what the long term, ill effects of the fluid being on the spine are, but I would guess that it could mean additional paralysis?
She asked me if she was having a lot of headaches or other problems than the sleep apnea. Crying, fussy, vomiting, any signs of the pressure being too great etc. She is really doing great that is why this whole thing really is throwing me a curve ball!
About the surgery in two weeks to remove the tonsils and adenoids... well... that might still happen. She couldn't say for certain if they would delay it because of everything else going on with Bean. But her feeling was that they would go ahead and have it done. The sleep apnea is likely being caused by all the issues, so they will just have to take it one step at a time to figure out what will make her better.
I am feeling sad for my baby. I don't understand why she just can't be healthy living her happy little life and why she has to keep going through more and more and more.
Here is some brief information about Chiari (since Ericka asked):
In addition to loss of sensation and paralysis, another neurological complication associated with spina bifida is Chiari II malformation—a rare condition (but common in children with myelomeningocele) in which the brainstem and the cerebellum, or rear portion of the brain, protrude downward into the spinal canal or neck area. This condition can lead to compression of the spinal cord and cause a variety of symptoms including difficulties with feeding, swallowing, and breathing; choking; and arm stiffness.

So what will happen now:
We will go see the NS on Wednesday and figure out a plan. Angeline will probably have the tonsil and adenoid surgery and then require more tests on her shunt. She might need a new shunt, or possibly a brain decompression surgery and/or possibly a surgery on her spine... they will have to do something to stop the fluid from being in her spine.

Thanks for praying. I am feeling ultra bummed about life today.
Love,
Sarah

More prayers needed... for Angeline!

Here are some pictures of Bean with her new chair from Christmas that her Nana sent to her. We love it! Thanks Nana!

I think that I am getting a facial tick. Or neck tick or something. Maybe it's stress related? My husband is working a lot this week and having him gone this much makes me realize how much patience I lost while he was home all those weeks. We miss him! On Wednesday's we have been going to home school ice skating and my children are lovely and wonderful until we come home, and then they are all tired and grouchy with one another the rest of the day. It's less than delightful. I think that Lauren nagging the kids to eat their salad at dinner was where I went into overload, I think I might have said something like... "I would rather shoot my foot off than continue to hear you worry about what everyone else is eating. Lauren just eat your dinner and worry about yourself!"

(My kids know that I don't really mean it when I say things like that, I just sometimes say things that are so way out in left field to avoid from yelling or completely shutting down in moments like that, they typically respond with a great deal of laughter which not only stops the problem, but improves the mood of the person doing the nagging.) One person complaining to everyone else about what they are eating did cause an undue amount of noise and arguing. Ugh.

I once at a block party had a man tell me that I sure was "lively" for having so many children. That he had met someone with 9 children before and they were like in a permanent meditative state. LOL I don't really get that one at all. Maybe that was their coping mechanism!

So since my hubby is working his tail end off this week, we aren't able to start the process for the letter to the President until Saturday. (We have to do notary, translate, authenticate and the Haitian consulate, then DHL to Haiti.) I am one of those people that wanted this done yesterday and that's hard to see it just sitting here not able to do anything with it right now. (Breathe Sarah, breathe.)

I just pray that it goes through and we can restore hope once again. I do want Isaac home tomorrow but not knowing IF he will EVER come home has been harder emotionally than I would have ever expected. I almost feel as if he is dying. I don't know how else to explain it. I know that's irrational, but maybe I am just an irrational person these days! :)

Back to Bean...

Oh my goodness! What a whirlwind.

I was researching "Spina Bifida" and "sleep apnea" and I came across some information about shunts/ Chiari Malformation and sleep apnea. That there can be extra pressure on the brain or shunt issues that affect the Chiari's and therefore cause the sleep apnea. I panicked for a moment, then I remembered that I have a dear old friend that's a neuro surgeon, DR A to the rescue! I emailed her right away. (Thank goodness for friends with super skills like her!)

She explained that YES, my NS team needs to know what is going on with the sleep apnea. That I shouldn't just go to the ENT and let them take over from there without the NS people truly knowing what is going on. She could be needing a new shunt, maybe its not working, or possibly even a brain decompression. (Where they remove part of the skull to help relieve the effects of the Arnold Chiari Malformation.)

This is terrible news of course. The tonsil and adenoid problem seemed like a band aid being taken off in comparison with what else could be going on. We called the NS the next morning. The Nurse practitioner for the NS had us bring Bean to Seattle to be seen the next day. They did a shunt work up and looked at her. Tomorrow she goes for an MRI of her brain and a shunt series. (Where they watch dye go through her shunt to see if its working properly.)

Unfortunately when Bean had her foot surgery last Feb. I took her MRI/CT Scans with me to Radiology and had them make copies of them. Then the copies they passed to one doc, and the originals to another doc on her team and now no one can find any of them. (These are the ones from when she first started getting care in Ohio... and could be used to compare the new MRI with the old ones... but no one can find them!) Please pray that they can find them tomorrow as it would truly be the best way to see what's going on.

I have had two people (a friend and a therapist) mention to me in the past two weeks that they see Angeline's eyes seeming to wander more lately than they had been. I don't know if this is related or not, but I am really worried about her. I just want everything to be OK. I hate the thought of her having to go through more brain surgeries!

So back to tomorrow... the MRI. Kika Kim is going to drive Bean and I to Seattle and Nina is going to come and do the Home schooling with the other kids. Bean will also have a hip xray while she is under anesthesia so that they don't have to do it again in March. (Thankfully the orders for the xrays are already in the computer.)

Then we will head home after she recovers from the anesthesia. (I do have some concern about the anesthesia given the sleep apnea.)

Next Weds. we will head back to Seattle to see the NS. Dr. B. He will let us know at that time if it's her shunt/Chiari's or the tonsils/adenoids causing the sleep apnea. Tomorrow he is in surgery all day so we have to wait till Weds to see him.

If its her shunt/brain/Chiari's then we will schedule surgery for her or whatever she needs at that time. If not... we head back to Seattle on Thursday next week for her pre-operation anesthesia appointment.

The following week (first week of Feb, right after her 2nd birthday) she has the adenoid and tonsil surgery scheduled.

So please pray for my sweet baby Bean. She is getting so big and doing SO well. I don't want to see anything stand in the way of her rapid positive growth and development. She has been "cruising" while holding onto furniture and we know she will walk soon enough! She climbs in and out of things and talks like a 3 year old. Her favorite new thing to say is... "Lulu's whining Mom". She is starting to tattle! So funny.

Thanks in advance for all your prayers!

Blessings and Love,
Sarah

Isaac January Update

The Boat Room continues to be very active, they are such a busy, inquisitive group of kids always exploring, climbing and trying to escape! They love to play outside on the Lion kids pavilion when they are in school or sit and play in the grass and on the car port. We have a Rubbermaid barrier separating the Boat kids from the older ones in the hallway and most of the babies like to climb on top of it or try to sneak in between rubbermaids, they love to watch their nannies chase them up and down the hallway. Many of them are so much bigger now they have been bathing outside on the laundry pavilion, they love to use bath time as another chance to run around and explore. They were all really excited about their Christmas gifts, we organised presents and each child got two gifts. They received balls, trucks, dolls and music toys which they’ve had a lot of fun playing with. It’s been interesting to watch them all learn to share, some of them are still struggling with that though! Someone very kindly donated some great hair care products for our girls so Katie has been busy washing all the girls’ hair and giving them deep cleansing treatments. We are now spraying the girls’ hair everyday with a special protective mist that helps to prevent breakage; the girls’ hair is already noticeably softer. We were blessed to have a dentist come and stay with us for a few days recently. He examined all the children’s teeth and was really impressed with them, brushing every night has really helped keep them in good shape.Isaac is so much fun! He has such a winsome personality. And is so verbal! He loves to sing “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes” in Creole and can point to all the body parts that are named in that song if you ask him. He will also repeat them in English if you name them for him. He repeats almost anything, actually! One day a few weeks ago he was awake from his nap earlier than the other children in the Boat room and I sat down to read some books with him in the hallway. He loved one we have that is full of pictures of babies and carried that one around with him the rest of the day. That afternoon for a snack all the children had sugar cookies with frosting that I had made for a Christmas treat. Isaac took his book and sat on it while he ate his cookie—I’m assuming so no one else could get a hold of it while he ate his cookie!
Another rainy day I was cutting his nails out in the hallway and he noticed that the children in the Alligator room were watching a movie. As soon as I was finished with his nails, he went running into the room to check out the movie and was soon bouncing around holding his finger in the air and singing along to “This Little Light of Mine.” He loves to watch a movie with the Alligator room children at night and one he particularly seems to enjoy is the Sesame Street “Get Up and Dance” Movie. He is right in the middle of the group of children circling the room acting out the dog and chicken dances. One night I was in the room as the movie finished and the nannies did not realize he was still in there. He got in line with all the Alligator children and drank the cup of milk someone handed him and then went over and lied down on one of the cots. I walked him back over to the Boat room shortly afterwards, of course, but I think he had fun with the older kids J Another morning I was playing with Isaac and Colin on the new screened porch with some Tinker Toys. I showed them how to make “drumsticks” from several of the Tinker Toys and we turned over the can that the toys are stored to make a drum…. They loved banging away on the makeshift drum and Isaac was stringing together various phrases from different songs to give words to their music. Isaac was so excited to open his Christmas gifts especially when he saw that he had gotten a little xylophone he has been banging it and making up songs to keep everyone entertained. He is such a great performer and happily dances when requested to, his nannies are always encouraging him too and get a great kick out of him as he learns new songs and dances so quickly. Recently his nannies have been singing “gar ah pie” to him which is a carnival song, there is a special dance that goes with it too and Isaac has it mastered. He dances around the room shrugging his shoulders and pushing his hands down, fingers spread out wide in front of him, it’s the cutest thing. For Christmas he also received a ball, truck and a little kid stereo which he loves. His stereo has a microphone on it and when we tried to have him speak into it and say “hello” he assumed it was a telephone so he’s been holding it up to his ear ever since! J Isaac plays so hard but I love that he also likes to snuggle, too. And perhaps the thing I find most precious is that when he does climb into your arms and put his head on your shoulder, you quickly find a little hand reaching down and patting your back as you pat his. Isaac currently weighs 21 pounds 15 ounces.

Isaac... oh me oh my

I really know that making the blog private is only going to encourage me to post more. And even tell more crazy stories about my families life. But it was a big job to get everyone invited, so here I am, days after I had so many things to tell... and playing the catch up game.
Saturday I was helping to throw an adoption "shower" for a friend who is about to bring home her three children from Ghana. I had to quickly get ready and out the door when I stopped over to check the computer and there was an update on Isaac.
Basically, IBESR won't sign him out, they refuse. So we are on the last step, the last thing we can try, or else we will lose Isaac forever. We have to write a letter to the President of Haiti asking for exemption to be able to adopt him. (BTW, before I forget, if you or anyone you know, has done this recently, and had it work, I would love some facts to keep my hope alive.) Well instantly when I heard this I was down in the dumps. Particularly because sometimes its hard to not just want to be home, with family, wallowing in self pity, and the absolute worst place to be after hearing this information, was at an adoption party. But since I am a good friend, I had to be there. There just wasn't any other option.
So I went and dealt and it was OK.
Then on Saturday night I get an email from a dear friend who has a large family and is adopting a little girl with some serious special needs, who also can't get out of IBESR, who also has to write a letter for Presidential Exemption. Well, she has WAY more of a reason to get the exemption than we do, so then I felt even worse about things. So I have spent the past 48 hours going over in my head what I was going to say to convince the President of Haiti to do me this little favor. (Excuse my smart-arse-ness and just realize I am allowed to feel bitter, even if just for the moment.)

I really wanted to say something like this:

Dear Mr. President,
I think that you should saa-shay over to IBESR and get things in order over there. These people are really starting to have some serious control issues. They are grappling over my dossier and not wanting to sign me out of IBESR for a child I have been waiting most of his life for, because I will have eight children at home when we bring him home to be a part of our family. I know that means eight times the amount of love and attention will be showered upon him day after day. And the amount that he will be spoiled might just end up being a detriment to his health at some point.

I know that he is living in an orphanage with 60 children, no Mom or Dad. So I can't possibly think of why I would have to write something to justify to you why a HOME with only EIGHT children would be a better place. Your a smart man, I am sure you can do the math. HOME or ORPHANAGE. 8 children or 60 children? You decide what would be better.
And after you go to IBESR, you might want to hop and skip on over to Parquet and then MOI and crack some skulls. Children are dying sir because of the amount of time its taking these people to get their heads out! I am sure that your visit to them will encourage them to get on the ball.

And yes, we do already have all the US side of the paperwork done, we are just waiting on Haiti! Lately that's been the central theme of our life around here, "waiting on Haiti!" It could be a show tune... "Hey, hey... waiting on Haiti!" "Spending my nights not sleeping... hey hey... waiting on Haiti!" "Hey H-A-I-T-I... you got it so right... make me put up a big fight!" "Getting gray hairs and my babies now reading... hey hey... were waiting on Haiti, they are the ones leading" "Don't need no tap-tap to make me feel fast... waiting on Haiti, watch our lives past!"

Ok, I realize I need some help in the rhyming department, sir. I promise to only teach Isaac show tunes that he truly loves. I have spent time with this child, our son, sir, I can tell you, he shares our passion of good theatre and music. For that fact alone, you should give the exemption as you would be hard pressed to find another family who could watch the Cedarmont kids with such enthusiasm.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and act quickly. I know that you don't have much else going on over there than time for little ole' me and our son who is waiting endlessly, needlessly, and senselessly for the powers that be. Oh and if you could skip whatever it is that you have going on the rest of the day, and get this done today, that would be great.

Many Blessings and big smooches!
Isaac's Mom and Dad... and siblings... (see page 2 for signatures)


KEEP PRAYING! WE NEED A MIRACLE!
Thanks and Love,
Sarah

The Sitch

So I wanted to give a little explanation on going Private with the blog. Although I enjoy having new reader's daily and getting the word out about Haiti, adoption, orphans and beautiful children with special needs, I needed a bit more privacy in my life.
I am not one of those people who will be able to give nicknames to all the kids, or just type their initials, plus that would completely confuse all of you! We are talking a lot of kids here! :)
I had heard last week of two separate situations of two adoptions being halted because of things that people talked about on their blogs. Both were families adopting from countries in Africa. One was stopped by the USCIS and her children aren't being granted Visa's to come to the US. (They are legally adopted in the country that they were adopted from, so basically she has these children in another continent that she can't bring home.) Her I-171H approval was revoked and she was told she will never be granted another orphan visa EVER.
The other person violated some of the country laws by doing fundraising on her blog for her adoption, so they (the country officials or whoever) that she can't adopt! (They already had a referral and it was completely devastating of course!) They also had posted pictures of their children on their blog, which isn't allowed until after the court hearing, so they violated that rule as well.
So there you have it! Now we have a private blog. If you have a friend or family member who you think would like an invite, just email me! :)
Blessings and thanks for reading!
Sarah

Going Private!

I have decided to go PRIVATE with my blog. There are several people in the adoption world having adoption problems because of things that they have said on their blogs. (Simple things have been turned around into incriminating negative actions on the parts of hateful people.) For the safety of my family, I need to make the blog private. If you read my blog, and you want to continue to do so please email me ASAP and let me know:

sisters3designs@aol.com


Or you can post a comment about who you are and please include your email address. (I have to add each email addy of each person that I grant permission to read the blog, so it may take me a couple days!)

Thanks for understanding. :)
Love,
Sarah

Empower your girls

Hello intelligent, beautiful, giving daughter's of mine. Have I empowered you today? If I forgot to do so today or even yesterday, please accept my sincerest apologies. Today I will not forget to remind you how capable you are. I will not hold you down, or hold you back from your dreams, no matter how big they are. I will encourage you, guide you, and support you.

You may choose someday to be a Mother, but if you don't, that is OK with me too. I love being a mother and coming from a mother who empowered me and let me know that it was my choice if I wanted to be a Mom or not. I am thankful that my parents gave me choices as a girl, young woman and even as a woman today, to be anything that I want to be.

On occasion when I was growing up someone would tell me NO, you can't do that, "girls" can't do that, and you know what, it made me want to do it more, and do it better. So if it's your dream to be President, or a professional Hockey player, or a teacher, or anything you dream to be, know that it's your right to become that dream.

And never let anyone else, friends, other's people parents, teachers, etc. hold you back. Remember the gifts that God gave you, to be passionate in your dreams and to fulfill them, and ignore all the rest.

And please don't let your past haunt you. Don't let being "adopted" or "a foster child" stop you from feeling your rights to live big. Don't let your disabilities stop you either... if you want to get that Academy Award, or Nobel Prize, or gold medal, you can do it!

Smart, lovely, caring daughter's of mine.

I adore you.

Hearing one of you tell me last night about comments from your class mates regarding the possibility of a woman becoming President revolted me. And it jolted me into remembering why we home school and how much more I can spend each day empowering you and embracing your strong will.

It makes me throw up a little in my throat hearing young women say things like "Women can't be President, they are too emotional." Women are emotional and that makes them PASSIONATE, and makes them eager to make positive changes and do good.

And to hear that one class had said that "women should be mothers only". Being a mother is the best job ever. I am so thankful that I had the chance to get a good education and to then CHOOSE to become one. I am thankful that I get to instill good values in you, and that I have all this precious time at home to empower you.

I don't think I could make a decision about who should be the next President today. But I know for sure that I would never ever teach any of my children, the girls or the boys, that there was something that a woman can't do. Who teaches their children something like that? Why even bother to teach them to read? Why not just concentrate on "womenly skills" like cooking and cleaning? Hello... is it 1908?

I am floored, appalled, disgusted.

I hope that by empowering you and equipping you with the knowledge of equality I will encourage you to speak out. To let the other girls know that they too, can be anything that they want to be. To let them know, that you will help to undue some of the chains that have been attached to them. That you too, might "just want to be a Mom someday", but that's just it, it will be your CHOICE, not your obligation.






You come from a long line of strong women.

Embrace it! :)

Ok blog readers, go now, go empower your girls!

Love,
Sarah

Trash talk and the laundry low down

I was in the Americorps program many moons ago. I committed to one year of community service. My team's 2nd project was working with the city of San Diego. They were working to determine how much trash that can be recycled is being put in the landfill by local businesses. We toured some larger companies that had excellent recycling programs and who were saving thousands of dollars each year by recycling. (The city of San Diego, like most larger cities, charged businesses for trash, but recycling was free, and some recycling in CA even generates income!)

So our task was to separate businesses into categories: Day cares, restaurants, fast food, offices, medical centers, etc. We then "sorted" 1/3 of the Dumpsters brought to us at Waste Management. Literally my team, in their tyvex suits, would get into the dumpster and take out 1/3 of it. Not from the top, we would try to get a random vertical 1/3 of it. We would put it on a large sorting table and then sort it into bins that were lined up separated by different types of paper, plastic, organic waste, etc. (Each bin would be something specific like HDPE plastic or plastic type 1, computer paper, other paper etc.) Once we were done sorting, we would weigh each bin to determine the total weight of that type of specific trash. The study helped the city determine the best way to help the businesses to recycle more, and ultimately save money.

We saw a lot of gross stuff. Worst would have to be a fast food "chicken" restaurant that had lots of raw meat full of maggots in the bottom of the dumpster. I was a vegan at the time and this was the ONE bin that I COULD not help with!

So here at home we have implemented our own recycling system and method of trash handling. We pay for one trash bin and we are charged $3 per bag of extra garbage that we have. The trash bin has to be closed, and if it won't close, then they take the bags out of the top until it will close and send you a bill for all your overages. They pick up once a week. I used to set out 10 or so odd recycling bins that would be picked up every other week. But after getting so annoyed with the amount of items (particularly plastics) that they wouldn't take, we came up with a new method.

In our kitchen we have a garbage can and a recycling can. Everyday both of these are emptied. The trash goes out front to the trash bin... and the recycling is sorted by one of the kids out in our back. We have trash cans with lids out back (from Lowes, I think we spent $12 each on them), they are separated as follows: Aluminum (including foil and cans), Plastic (all types), Paper (news and scrap, printer, art paper etc, magazines too), Cardboard (most packaging as we re-use any larger cardboard boxes from diapers and such for shipping and storage purposes), and Glass has a small bin. (We re-use a lot of glass items too.)

About 2-3 times per month we load up the bags of recycling and take it to the dump, where for free, we can recycle everything. We try to make this trip during a time that we would normally be passing there while running errands etc. so save on the gas money for a special trip.

A note about plastics: We also stopped using plastic water bottles this year. To reduce the amount of waste and for health reasons, and ultimately to cut costs, we are now drinking in re-usable containers such as these:

http://www.nalgene-outdoor.com/promos/index.html

You can also find knock off, less expensive brands, at your local Target. (Found some on sale last week there for $2.44 each.)

These containers are durable and will last forever!

For my children's lunch I make two of these full of "drink" or "ice water" and send them along with plastic cups that will be brought home and washed.

A note about "paper" products: We do use toilet paper and I haven't YET instituted a "number of sheets" per person rule. lol :) But we use cloth napkins instead of disposable and "rags" instead of paper towels. You can find some great cloth napkins at your local thrift store, or even on ebay!

For "special occasions" like Christmas, we did have paper napkins. We are currently using the leftover napkins in lunches for school. We also do buy paper towels once a month and they are used for things like, throw up, doggie accidents, etc. But we typically leave them in the garage "storage" area and not on the counter for the kids to use to dry hands etc. We have a drawer full of "rags" for those purposes.

Laundry... I bet your wondering about my laundry situation.

We do have typically a load per day of "whites". That includes the rags and cloth napkins, in with towels, pajamas etc. We have tried really hard over the past weeks to figure out how we can cut our laundry down to a minimum. Here's how we are dealing:

1. The older children (Danny, Tyler, Lauren, David, and Grace) all do their own laundry. They aren't allowed to do a load unless its a FULL load. And if there is something that they want washed (work uniform etc.) they need to make it a full load by throwing regular items that need to be washed in with it, or communicating with each other to combine a load. But for the most part, they each do their laundry once a week.

2. Towels: Every Wednesday each person picks a new towel. When they give us the old towel, they can get a new towel from the "clean" pile. The towel is used for the entire week. Most of the kids bathe every other day... so we figure 3-4 uses is ok for one towel.

3. Pajamas: Get dressed before you eat breakfast... this saves pajamas from needing to be washed daily, they wear them 2-3 times before we wash them.

4. Sweatshirts, jeans etc: There are times when you don't stink or get something "dirty" that it is OK to wear more than one time. Truly it is!

5. Underwear: Change it daily! :)

6. Sheets: We try to do them every other week. It works something like this: When I see that I don't have a lot of laundry to do that day, I tell the kids in one room (older girls for example) to bring me sheets and pillow cases. I wash them and dry them, and give them back to them unfolded, ready to put back on the bed. I try to remember to tell the kids to flip their mattress or rotate it with the sheet change to save the life of the mattress a bit. (We vacuum beds with "spring" cleaning that happens a couple times a year.)

7. Blankets/Comforters: These we try to do once a month, again on days where we don't have much other laundry to do.

8. Everyone be responsible: Bring your laundry to the laundry room in the morning. I wash it all, make a pile, fold it one time a day (all at once), then the kids are responsible for taking the piles sorted to their room and putting it away. (One of the older kids helps Lulu with her and Bean's things.)

9. Socks and rags: I pick two helpers, one folds the rags and one matches the socks. The unmatched socks go in a basket and those get matched about once every two weeks. (We all work together and can get it done fairly fast.)

We pay about $150 per month for water and $35 per month for trash pickup. So its really important for our budget and the environment that we use only what we need.

Sorry this got pretty long! Hope it helped you somehow.

Blessings,
Sarah

Saved!

If you want to save money, save the environment, and you and your families health... I suggest you hop on over to your local library and get this book! (Or look online at your libraries online catalogue and put this book on hold.)

While wanting to become financially free, I will not sacrifice my families health and well being of course. I found this book packed full of great ideas and most are more economical than buying regular cleaning products! And they WORK too!

If you can't find the book, you can start changing your old cleaning habits by looking at any of these websites for helpful ideas:

http://riri.essortment.com/organiccleaning_rase.htm

http://www.manataka.org/page1931.html

Money Matters

So... I have officially avoided this "New Years Resolution" post for two weeks. I think it's time to come clean with you all. We (my family) has taken the New Years Resolution to act towards financial freedom. There are many things we would like to do as a family to enhance our horizons, help others, and to make the world a better place. But in order to do those things, we need to stick to our plan/goal of being financially free from debt.
Every time that I go on the Real Hope for Haiti blog, I see Lori's header that states "Live simply, so others can simply live." And I think, that's a saying directly for me, I need to heed that advice NOW. My family doesn't exactly live "high on the hog" or anything like that. But there are certainly places where we can cut back, make better choices and become more frugal, ultimately leading to paying off debt and FREEDOM from financial woes.

I started reading books three weeks ago and I am about 10 books deep into living frugally, learning how to make organic/cheap household cleaners, how to "pay up" on debt to get out of debt, and how to cook more from scratch. We have cut our cell phone plan in half, we are losing the cable plan we have, and we are trying to cut our hefty food budget by 30%-50%.

Today in the mail I got our 2% cash back bonus from Costco from what we spent last year. We got $152.00, that was 2% of what we spent... or 2% of the $7600 we spent at Costco last year. That wouldn't seem so bad if that was ALL the money we spent on groceries last year! But no, it's not even close. We would typically hit up Costco once a month for paper products and larger items that we go through quickly. I spent on average $635 per month just at Costco alone. There were no major purchases in that $7600, we basically ate and wiped away all that money! Last year our monthly food bill ranged from $1500-$2400 per month. (Higher amounts when the babies were here, three in diapers, formula etc.) That's nearly $24,000 last year in food, diapers, paper products, alone. That is very sad. We don't really eat out much, maybe pizza once a week, but even that, we are doing without.

Right now we have 12 people at home. I am curious how to determine how much to spend. Most of the books I have read averaged about $40 per person per month. That just seems way too low to me. (Maybe because of where we live? But that would be $480 per month for 12 people.) That is like a typical "week" grocery shopping cost here. The families who wrote these books were able to do incredible things, like pay off mortgages on a $35,000 annual salary in 9 years, and they had five children!

I did have someone post a comment awhile ago asking for tips on saving money and "how we do it". Apparently, we don't do it so well, so I never left any tips. I do hope to have lots of tips to share with you in the near future though!

I would love to hear some comments on how much you spend on groceries per month and how many are in your family. This will help me determine a reasonable budget for our food costs. The less we spend, the more we can pay on debt, and the sooner we are financially free! Comment away!!

More soon from our new improved frugal lifestyle :)

Sarah

Happy Birthday Sophia!

Yesterday Sophie celebrated her 10th birthday. It was a busy day. Dh was off with Danny and Tyler to chop wood with "the guys" at Aunt Betsy's. David and Grace went to a chess tournament with a friend. And Sophie and I went shopping! She got to "plan the day" for her birthday. She didn't want any surprise gifts, she wanted to go shopping alone with Mom and pick out some new special things. First stop was Target where she got some new pants, jeans, a new top and a game for her Nintendo DS along with a DS case.

Then we went to Tuesday Morning, where she found nothing. Then over to Joann fabrics to buy a quilt making set that she wanted. We then headed off to pick up Leishan, had lunch with Lei and went to the grocery store to buy food for her "birthday dinner".

She chose mashed potatoes, chicken strips, chips, and cole slaw. And ice cream with LOTS of toppings for dessert. She invited her cousins and friends over for a game night and lots of "charades" playing. Everyone got seriously obnoxious and it was very fun.

This picture of Sophie is my favorite picture of her of all time. We cleaned some space off the computer the other day and I was so glad that I still had this in my "laptop" backup files. Sophie is such a marvelous child. She is very introspective and so smart. I can't even believe that my little Sophie Mo is 10 years old already! Sophie is a very different child than when she came to us just before her fourth birthday. Her caseworker had never heard her speak for all those years. After months in our house with our wild bunch, she was in the mix and just like everyone else. (And she could speak in full sentences brilliantly, she was just choosing to NOT speak at the time.)

Today Aunt Betsy is taking Sophie out for some more special time. She is dressed in her new pants and already -ready to go. :)

I found lots of old pictures. Don't blink too much Mom's and Dad's, because if you do, you'll miss it all! I can't believe this picture... Grace, Sophie, David, Cole, Dominick and in the front, Baby Lulu!

Have a beautiful Sunday. Happy Birthday Sophie.
Love,
Mom

News... or not really... and a link!

I worked on some "sample" logo's for Fields of Grace over the weekend. They are still voting on which they like best, but this was one of the options. (Until All Have Homes is starting an O and medical/feeding center in Burkina Faso... visit UAHH to read more about how you can help.) The link is on the side of my blog.

Isaac news: There is no news. D. checked in and the attorney is still waiting to hear from IBESR. They want to give them ample time to do what they need to do without appearing pushy etc. So prayerfully we may hear something by the end of the week. Or else we need to remain patient and keep praying! I have been wrestling the past days with knowing when to let go. Robert and I feel selfish at times, like we are making Isaac wait longer than he has to because of our family size. We just want to know that we will know when its time to stop. Right now, we know we need to hold on tight and keep trying/praying/hoping... I need to just find peace with knowing what is right to do right now, and stop worrying about whether or not I will ever know when its right to let go. My heart tells me I will never know though.

Please take a moment and read this beautiful post by Kelly. It moved my heart and reminded me why its so vital the work that Until All Have Homes does. There are far too many waiting, suffering children with special needs out there in our world. We can truly make a difference!

http://growingto7.blogspot.com/

(There's another link just in case you missed the first one.)

Have a great day.

Sarah

Pray for Isaac

Here is a picture of Isaac and Elijah (Kim's son) and their nanny. So cute.

We are hoping for news on Isaac's file this week. Our attorney is checking on things tomorrow and our "O" director will be calling him on Wednesday to see what the news is. The person at IBESR that said that they won't sign the file, did say that THEY WILL sign it in December. If they are just "saying that" or not, we will hopefully find out this week. Once he signs, it is hopeful that the other people there will sign. So I really beg of you to please pray this week for Isaac, for COTP, and for NLL and Dr. Bernard who is working on all this. I find myself drifting in and out of daily life to pray these days. The entire hopes and dreams for our son have come down to praying, the one thing that we have control over.

Last night I was laying in bed, not able to sleep, and I was praying. Bean was sleeping, or trying to sleep in between her daddy and I, and we had to get up at 5am to be sure she was ready to go to Seattle for a check on her feet and leg braces. I was thankful that my husband was off today so that he was able to take her. (After just taking her there last week... we have many appointments over the next three months, none of which we were able to schedule on the same day.) So I prayed and fell asleep and started dreaming.

When I was in Catholic grade school we had this ritual every year with balloons. We were each given a helium filled balloon and we wrote our name and address on a piece of paper. We would attach the note to the bottom of the balloon and it said "if found, please write to this child etc. and let us know where the balloon was found". Then all the children would go out to the concrete playground and let the balloons go, all at the same time. The hope was that someone would find the balloon somewhere and write a letter to the student, or send a postcard, and we could see how far the balloons traveled.

I hated this day.

I wouldn't want to go to school. Why would I want someone to give me this beautiful balloon and then I had to just let it go and let it drift away. Sometimes balloons would get caught up in the electrical wires right above the playground and there the child would stand... watching their balloon stuck and know that they would never get a post card.

They always had some kind of a count down, and then we were to let the balloons go. I always held onto mine. I can remember the feeling of the eyes of the other children and staff staring at me wondering what was wrong with me and why I didn't want to watch it glide away with everyone else's in this stream of eternal pollution that was going to be found for miles around. I just wanted to keep the balloon. I didn't want the post card or letter from a stranger from afar. Eventually someone would come over to me and tell me that I had to let it go, that I had to send it away, and that I was to be happy about this ritual.

I would wait a few more moments until I got more threatening stares from the teachers, wide eyes that were telling me "Sarah, just let the balloon go." I would walk and position myself in the best spot given the wind and pray that it wouldn't get stuck... that I wouldn't have to come to school for months and see it stuck in some stupid tree or wire. And when the right moment came, I wouldn't just let it go, I would throw it as hard up in the air as possible and hope that the wind would carry it just the right way. I would watch my lone balloon drift up and up far away from the others who were so far away that you could barely see them anymore.

I always thought I should have just kept the balloon. Weeks later when other children were getting random postcards and none ever came from me, that feeling of... "I shouldn't have let you go" came over me. My Mom would always offer to take me for some token balloon or sticker from the Hallmark store, but it just wasn't the same as THAT BALLOON. That was the one that I wanted and now it was just deflated and trash left for someone else to pick up. I would cry. (I was a big cry baby most of my life... I even have the award stickers that state "I didn't cry today" from when I was growing up and my mom started some kind of bribe system with these badge stickers to get me from being so emotional.)

I don't know why I can't get the balloon day out of my head, thoughts and dreams. Is this my sign? Am I supposed to let Isaac go if we don't get good news soon? Am I supposed to hang on and fight forever until something gives way? Shall I remind myself that it was better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?

All the while with the balloon I remember thinking that I could just tell someone that I wanted to keep my balloon and not toss it to the wind. But I remember thinking that someone might get mad at me, or the other kids would think that I was foolish for caring so much about a balloon. I didn't want to upset anyone or ruffle any feathers. Now that I am adult I have learned that I don't always have to be liked by everyone, that I can say what I feel when I want to say it, and that I am a better person for doing so.

I pray for good news, and pray for the Lord's direction and wisdom.

Thanks for listening and praying.

Sarah

Surgery... again... number 8?

"You have got to be kidding me."

Yes, it's true, Bean has to have surgery AGAIN. She went to the ENT specialist today and she has very large tonsils and adenoids that will be removed on February 6th. We will have a delightful overnight at Children's that night, and if all goes well in recovery, she can come home the next day. As much as we aren't looking forward to putting Angeline through anymore pain, we are looking forward to an end to the snoring, sleep apnea and very restless nights. Bean has been in our bed, or on occasion in Lauren's bed since the babies went back to Haiti. She wakes up over and over again when she can't breathe because of her tonsils and adenoids blocking her airway.

Please keep our little Bean in your prayers. Her birthday is February 1st, so surgery is just 5 days after she turns 2. :(

Love,
Beanies Momma

Classy Kids

Why is there a picture of George W. on this "classy kids" post you wonder? Well if you read all the way to the end of this you will understand why.

The girls and I went for a tea party today at the best little tea house. We met up with my Aunt, Sister, cousin Zoe and friends Debbie and Cheyanne. Getting ready this morning was a nightmare. Grace and Sophie insisted that they wanted to wear jeans and I thought that they should "dress up", Lulu tried to pick her own clothes out and the two shades of pink just weren't going together. I encouraged them to pick something else and realized that after they were all dressed and fidgeting in their tights that they hate wearing, that the shoes were going to be an issue. We just don't dress up that often and although we did pull together some dressier outfits for them to wear, the shoes were certainly lacking. I got over it as I always do. (I only own three pairs of shoes btw, so I don't expect my kids to enjoy wearing dress shoes anymore than I do... because I don't ever.)

So we made it there on time... party of 11, we had reserved two tea rooms next door to one another. Lauren, Bean and the "adults" would sit in one room, and the younger girls in the other room next door. We got the orders and tea selections figured out (the list of tea is expansive maybe 100 or 200 different teas to choose from), everyone can pick a different kind of tea and they bring you your own tea pot full of your choice. I must have gotten too far into the great company, conversation and food to remember to take any pictures! Sorry! But next time I certainly will. (We all agreed that we need to go there more often.)

Meanwhile halfway through my fruit compote, scones and cucumber dill finger sandwich I see Lulu try to bolt from her room back towards the bathroom with hand fulls of something. What was it, you may wonder? It was empty "splenda" packets. Like 10 or more of them. I explained to her that all she needs to use is one sugar cube in her tea and showed her how to do it and told her to not touch the splenda again. And she let me quickly know that the entire bowl of sugar cubes had already been used. Ugh. I walked over to peek in her tea cup of sugar, splenda and a smidgen of tea and told her to sit down and behave and enjoy her banana and nutella finger sandwich.

We had a really great lunch and a wonderful time. They serve you very slowly allowing for ample chatting time and relaxation. The girls, even Bean, for the most part, were really well behaved. Then we picked out three small bags of half off tea to bring home to try later, including a special "Seattle" blend. We walked around the local shops and then came home.

So the day progressed, lots of enjoying the new big jump rope from Grandpa Pat from Christmas with the neighborhood kids, and the cousins were over. I made dinner, we ate, and we were sitting after dinner talking about Presidents. (Which is our new Social Studies theme for January.) The kids had pulled out books and I was impressed with how much they already know. Then somehow David changed the topic to ages and birthday's. He mentioned that this August he will be 14 and next year 15, and he can't hardly believe he is almost in high school and a teenager! I said... "I know and when your 14 that means you get a lot more armpit hair!"

Dominick stopped his sweeping to butt in with... "Armpit hair... hahaha... MOM...David already has a George W. Bush."

What?

No... he didn't just actually say what I think he said.

I know that we blocked the TV's from anything that was above PG rated so how did this kid hear something like that? (Teenage siblings was my best guess.) OK so my sister and I were crying we were trying to refrain from laughing so hard. It was just the matter of fact tone that he used where he didn't even really realize what he was saying, although I think he did do some hand gesture, yes finger pointing downward.

Guess I need to bump up speed on the health home school classes so my kids know appropriate terminology!

Good Heavens! I have classy kids!

Nigh night.

Sarah

Grace's 11th Birthday

Our baby Grace celebrated her 11th birthday a couple weeks ago. Grace chose to have a sleepover party with her old neighborhood friends and her "newer" home school friends. I was a bit worried if the girls would "mix" OK at the sleepover and they all got along so great, it was refreshing to see them all making new friends with one another.

We made individual home made pizza's (Grace allowed me to put out pepperoni although she has been a vegetarian for almost a year, this child has determination and self control that is for sure)... and then decorated cookies which each of the girls got to take home their own container of.

Grace and I each made a cake, one vanilla, one chocolate, and decorated them. (Guess who made which cake?)

The girls had a frosting fight and played Karaoke Revolution and the Wii... then settled in for some movies, popcorn and sleep.
It was a memorable time for all!

Happy Birthday Gracie! :)

Love,
Mom

How Real Are You?

You Are 89% Real

There's hardly a person on this earth more real than you are. You have no problem showing people who you are, flaws and all. For you, there couldn't be any other way. Because it's way too stressful to live an inauthentic life. You're very comfortable with yourself. And because of this, you're able to live an exciting, interesting, and challenging life.

How Real Are You?

White Rabbits!

White Rabbits! White Rabbits! White Rabbits!
Happy New Year!
Blessings and hope for health and happiness in 2008!
Sarah and Family